Kisses Jokes / Recent Jokes

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

Dear Sweetheart:

I can`t send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart

Your husband

His wife replied back after some days to her husband:

Dearest sweetheart,

Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.

1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month`s milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items...........
5. Other expenses 40 kisses

Please don`t worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.

Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!

Your Sweet Heart

Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be a shiftless bastard. Man who lay girl on hill not on level. He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab. Wife who put man in dog house find him in cat house. Man who farts in church sits alone in pew. Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand. Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot very unsanitary. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing. Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down. Man with athletic finger make broad jump. Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts. Seven days on honeymoon make one hole weak. Modern house without toilet uncanny. Woman who springs on inner-spring this spring, gets off-spring next spring Nail on board is not good as screw on bench. Short man who dance with tall woman get bust in mouth. Man who lay woman on ground has peace on earth. Man who sleep on railroad tracks wake up with split personality. more...

Confucius Says: Man who snatches kisses when young, kisses snatches when old.

In a train compartment a young couple and an elderly, somewhat ragged old man were sitting.

The girl looks like she's having some discomfort so her boyfriend asks her, "What's wrong honey?"

She replies. "My head hurts."

Her boyfriend kisses her forehead, and asks her, "Is it better now?"

"Yes," she says.

Then he asks, "Does it hurt somewhere else?"

"Here," she replies, pointing to her lips.

So the boyfriend kisses her lips. "Is it better now?"

"Much better." "Anywhere else?"

She replies by pointing to her neck. So the boyfriend kisses her neck

Annoyed at the pitiful public display, the elderly man asks the young man, "Excuse me son, do you do hemorrhoids?"