Knocked Jokes / Recent Jokes
President Clinton died and knocked at the Pearly Gates. "Who goes there?" inquired St. Peter. "It's me, Bill Clinton". "What bad things did you do on earth?" Clinton thought a bit and answered, "Well, I smoked marijuana, but you shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't inhale. And I lied, but I didn't commit perjury." After several moments of deliberation St. Peter replied, "OK, here's the deal. We'll send you someplace where it is very hot, but we won't call it' Hell.' You'll be there for an indefinite period of time, but we won't call it' eternity.' And don't' abandon all hope' upon entering, just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over."
I knocked several times, but you weren't in. - Opportunity
Somewhere in the city there was a small apartment building. there were four floors and 1 person lived on each floor.
On the first floor there lived a police man. Everybody could tell it was him at the door because he knocked once.
On the second floor there lived a fire man. Everybody could tell it was him at the door because he knocked twice.
On the third floor there lived a blind man. Everybody could tell it was him at the door because he knocked three times.
On the Fourth floor there lived a woman. Everybody could tell it was her at the door because she knocked four times.
one day the woman was in the shower and she heard one knock at the door. She put on her robe and answered the door. It was the police man. He said "guess what! guess what! I just made my first arrest!" Then he left and the woman went back in the shower.
Then she heard two knocks at the door. so she put on her robe and answered the door. It more...
There was this blonde applying for a job and saw a sign that said needed for paint job, Come here. So she went to the house and knocked on the door.
She said,I'm here for the paint job;and the guy said,Ok.Here's the paint I want you to paint the porch.
She said, No Problem, and set off to work. She finished the first coating and decided because it didn't take very long she would give it a second coat.
She finished the second and knocked on the door. She said, I gave it two coats and oh,by the way, It's not a porsche, It's a ferrarie.
A woman jumped the barriers in St. Peter's Basilica and knocked down Pope Benedict
XVI during his Christmas mass. "It was a very hard hit; we'll be keeping a close eye on
her" said
Rams head coach Steve Spagnulo.
Girl: Do you believe in puppy love?
Boy: I tried it once, but their assholes are too small.
Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me."
Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you?"
When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?" He says, "Why? Are my eyes bulging?"
"I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine... I always get better with age. The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar."
Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed.
Guest: I'll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the more...