Ladies Jokes / Recent Jokes

The following our signs seen overseas where the actual message of the signs became somewhat lost in the english translation. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. In a Belgrade elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk. In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 & 11 am daily. In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian orthodox Monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday. In an Austrian hotel for skiers: Not to more...

A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings.
"Mommy," said the little boy, "what are all those ladies doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to get off of work," she replied.
The cabbie turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? Their hookers. They have sex with men for money."
The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true, mommy?" His mother, glaring at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative.
After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mommy what happens to the babies those ladies have?"
"They mostly become cab drivers," she replied.

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?" The other replies, "Oh sure I do."
The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?" The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch. One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get frisky?"
The other replies, "Oh, sure I do."
The first woman asks, "What do you do about it?"
The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said:
"Two Prostitutes - $50.00."
A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying:
"JESUS SAVES."
One of the girls asked the officer,
"How come you don't stop them?!"
"Well, that's a little different," the officer smiled... "Their sign pertains to religion."
So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign down and drove off. The following day found the same police officer in the area when he noticed the two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. Figuring he had an easy arrest, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which now read:
"Two Fallen Angels Seeking Peter - $50.00."

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car
which said: "Two Prostitutes - $50.00." A policeman, seeing the sign,
stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go
to jail.Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES"One of the girls asked the officer, "How come you don't stop them?""Well, that's a little different," the officer smiled "Their sign
pertains to religion."So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign down and
drove off.The following day found the same police officer in the area when he
noticed the two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car
again.Figuring he had an easy arrest, he began to catch up with them when he
noticed the new sign which now read:"Two Fallen Angels
Seeking Peter - $50.00."