Land Jokes / Recent Jokes

A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him.The farmer stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted and minutes later the car was free. The farmer turned to the husband and said, "You know, you're the tenth car I've helped out of the mud today."The husband looks around at the fields incredulously and asks the farmer, "When do you have time to plough your land? At night?""No," the young farmer replied seriously, "Night is when I put the water in the hole."

two blondes were on there way to disney land when they came few miles from disney land they looked to theleft and seen sign that said disney land left... wha did they do
So they turned around and went home

There was a blonde who was taking her kids to Disney Land. When they were about half way there, the blonde say a sign that said "Disney Land Left," so the blonde turned back around and went home

On the sixth day God turned to the angel Gabriel and said "Today I am going to create a land called Canada. It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty - it shall have tall majestic mountains full of mountain goats and eagles, and beautiful sparkly lakes bountiful with carp and trout. There shall be forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs overlooking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, and rivers stocked with salmon." God continued, "I shall make the land rich in oil so to make the inhabitants prosper, I shall call these inhabitants Canadians, they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth." "But Lord," asked Gabriel, "don't you think you are being too generous to these Canadians?" "No, not really." God replied..."Just wait and see the neighbours I am going to give them!"

Two hunters are hunting deer in the Western USA. They spot some deer on a farmer's land and they decide to go ask the farmer if he will let them hunt on his land. Only one of the guys goes to ask.
He says, "Sir, we noticed you got some deer on your land and we wondered if you would allow us to hunt them?"
The farmer says, "Sure, no problem. But on one condition. I got this old horse that's real sick and just about ready to die. I'd appreciate one of you fella's shootin him for me. I just can't bring myself to do it."
The hunter says that it won't be a problem. On the way back to the pickup he thinks to himself, "I'm gonna screw around with my buddy."
He walks up to the pickup and says, "That SOB won't let us hunt his land. You know what, I'm gonna shoot his horse."
At this point, the first hunter pulls out his gun and shoots the farmer's horse.
The second guy, so caught up in the emotion says, "Yeah, that SOB!" more...

This man responded to an add in the paper to buy some realestate. The add read that it featured 20 acres of prime bottom land and since that's what he was interested in he hurried to look at it. Upon arriving the owner invited him to look at the run down house but he declined saying it was really the land he was interested in. So the owner told him to walk around and take a good look. He did. And in doing so he came across an old hand dug well that he couldn't see the bottom of so he tosses a rock into it and listens for the splash. He waits and there is no splash. So he figures that it must have hit the side or something and he gets a slightly larger rock and drops that in, carefully holding it above the center of the well. He waits. Still no splash! So damnit he can't find a bigger rock but about 10 feet away he sees an old rusty transmission case and he drops that into the well and listens for the splash. Suddenly he hears galloping behind him and when he turns his head and glances more...

There was a blonde, a brunette and a red head on an island and they were almost starving. In the end the brunette decided she would rather die trying to get back to land, which looked about 20 miles away, than stay on the island and starve.
So she started swimmming and got about 10 miles out before she gave up and drowned.
The red head decided she would do the same thing and she got 15 miles out before she gave up and drowned.
The blonde was lonely without the others so she swam out and got 19 miles out.
"Oh, I'm too tired!" she said.
So she swam back!