Laptop Jokes

Denise Richards accidentally hit an elderly woman with a laptop, or as the old woman calls it, "a magic thinking box."
This is NOT how I wanted Denise Richards to nail another woman.

42. Wear A LOT of putrid smelling cologne or perfume.43. Spill that same cologne or perfume on their book.44. Put down your book, then say, "Hey, ya wanna trade?"45. Bring a recording of very obnoxious music, and hide it in a bag. Turn it up full blast, and accuse them of having it. Keep accusing them, then get the librarian to come. When they find it in your bag, yell, "IT WAS PLANTED ON ME I TELL YOU!!! IT'S NOT MY FAULT! IT'S A GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY! ALIENS BEAMED IT INTO MY BAG!!! IT'S BECAUSE I DIDN'T LET THEM DO EXPERIMENTS ON ME!!"46. Without looking away from your book, say to no one in particular, "I know what you did last summer."47. Bring a piece of bread, and drop pieces of it down the little hole in the center of the table meant for cords.48. While reading your book, start humming a single note until you're out of breath, then collapse on the floor. Then get back up, and continue reading like nothing happened.49. Start singing "This is more...

Your email address ends in "@over.yonder.com".
You have a bumper sticker on your truck that says "My other computer is a laptop".
You've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone.
Your spell checker knows words like, "Y'all", "Yonder" and "Reckon".
You've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set your beer on.
Your laptop has a sticker on it that says "Protected by Smith & Wesson".
You've used jumper cables to wire your network.
Your wife said "either she or the computer had to go" and you still don't miss her.
You start all your emails with "Hey Bubba", or "Howdy Y'all".

My laptop was driving me crazy. "A, E, and I keys always stick," i complained to a friend. She quickly diagnosed the problem. "Your computer is suffering from irritable vowel syndrome."

Do you have a Dell laptop? Are you worried about it bursting into flames? I have the safety tips you'll need to stay safe...