Denise Jokes

A pregnant Brooklyn woman gets in a car accident and
falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months,
when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer
pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her
baby. The doctor replies, Ma'am, you had twins! A boy
and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother from
Alabama came in and named them. The woman thinks
to herself, "Oh no, not my brother... he's an idiot!"
Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's
the girl's name?"
"Denise," the doctor says.
The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name,
guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!"
Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"
The doctor replies, "Denephew."

A pregnant woman goes into a coma moments after she gives birth to twins, one boy and one girl.
When she awakens, several days later, she cries out frantically to see her children. The doctors come to her, and the first thing she asks is "How are my children?"
"Fine" says the doctor, your brother named them. She thinks to herself, Oh no, my brother's an idiot.
"What did he name them?" she asks the doctor.
"He named the girl Denise" said the doctor.
Well, maybe I misjudged my brother, Denise isn't such a bad name, she realizes. "What did he name the boy?"
Replies the doctor "Denephew."

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Denise!
Denise who?
Denise are above your ankles!

I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building... I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turned to the other and said, "See, that's how it's done."

I was going to commit suicide the other day, but I must not have been serious because I brought a beach towel.

I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me... I pushed "1" and he just stood there... I said, "Hi, where you going?" He said, "Phoenix." So I pushed Phoenix. A few seconds later the doors opened, two tumbleweeds blew in... We were in downtown Phoenix. I looked at him and said, "You know, you're the kind of guy I want to hang around with." We got into his car and drove out to his shack in the desert. Then the phone rang. He said, "You get it." I picked it up and said, "Hello?"... The other side said, "Is this more...

A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma.
Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"
"Denise," the doctor says.
The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"
The doctor replies, DeNephew.