Larger Jokes / Recent Jokes

A pair of tourists were out in the fields when they discovered an abandoned well near an old farm house. Of course theyre curious so they drop a small stone into the well, but they never hear it hit bottom. They search and find a larger rock and drop it into the well but once again hear nothing. They decide they need something larger and search the farm yard for a larger object. After much struggle, they manage to drag a large railroad tie to the edge of the well and drop it over the edge. After several seconds, a goat tears across the yard and without any hesitation, dives head first into the open hole. The two tourists stand in amazement. About then a farmer appears and tells them he is looking for a lost goat. The tourists tell the farmer about the goat diving into the well."That couldnt be my goat", the farmer replies, "My goat was grazing in the field roped to a railroa d tie!"

A man was working in a scrap yard during summer vacation at an engineering university.
One afternoon, he was taking apart a piling hammer that had some very large bolts holding it together. One of the nuts had corroded on to the bolt; to free it, he started heating the nut with an oxy-acetylene torch.
As he was doing this, one of the dimmest apprentices, Banta, came along. He asked him what he was doing.
He patiently explained that if he heated the nut, it would grow larger and release its grip on the bolt so he could then remove it.
"So things get larger when they get hot, do they?" Banta asked.
Suddenly, an idea flashed into his mind, "Yes," he said, "that's why days are longer in summer and shorter in winter."
There was a long pause, then his face cleared, "You know, I always wondered about that," he said.

Smaller or larger tuxedo
A friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the groom's tuxedo.
After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either three or four sizes smaller or larger than the groom's. Explain to the tux shop what you're up to. Pick up the groom's fitted coat, switch with the extra rented coat, and deliver to the groom only when it becomes time to actually get dressed.
The friend of mine wore a 42 long, but the one I provided was a 38 short. Talk about some serious fun! Don't reveal that you know anything as long as possible.