Pleasure Jokes

In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft.
After one year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.
After the US published the study, France decided to do their own study.
After $250,000, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.
Poland, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study.
After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was to keep man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

The Lord decided it was time to make a companion for Adam.

He summoned St. Peter and told him of His decision.

He told St. Peter that he wanted to make a being who was similar to man, yet was different, and could offer him comfort, companionship and pleasure.

The Lord said He would call this being woman. So St. Peter went about creating this being, which was similar to man yet was different in ways that would be appealing and could provide physical pleasure to man. When St. Peter had finished creating this being who could now be called woman he summoned The Lord.

'Ah, St. Peter, once again you have done an excellent job', said The Lord

'Thank You, O Great One, I live but to serve.' replied St. Peter.' I am now ready to provide the brain, nerve endings and senses to this..... .. woman. I require your assistance on this matter Lord.'

'You shall make her brain, slightly smaller, yet more intuitive, more feeling, more more...

Two beautiful statues were in a park, facing each other across the grass, one of a young girl and the other of a young man, looking towards each other like young lovers.
These statues gave so much pleasure to people visiting the park that God looked down and decided to reward them with life for 30 minutes, on a Sunday when the park was closed to the public.
Immediately when they came alive, they ran together into the bushes and could be heard giggling and cooing with pleasure and the bushes were shaking.
After 15 minutes they came out and realised that they still had 15 minutes more life to live.
"What shall we do now then," said the boy statue. "Let's do the same thing again," she replied.
"Okay," said the boy statue, "but this time, you hold the pidgeons down while I shit on them."

In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.After the US published the study, France decided to do their own study. After $250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.Poland, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

An old man went to the doctor. He said, "Doctor, I was wondering if you could help me. My wife and I are not getting the same amount of pleasure from sex that we used to.". The doctor looked at the wrinkled old man in surprise, and said, "Can I ask you how old you are, sir?". "I'm 87.", said the old man. "87!", exclaimed the doctor, "How old is your wife?". "She's 92.", was the reply. The doctor was astonished by this, and said, "So let me make sure that I understand this right. You are 87, and your wife is 92 and you are worried that you don't get as much pleasure from sex as you used to?". "That is correct." said the old man, "What can you do to help me?". "Well," said the doctor, "when did you first notice this problem?".
The old man looked thoughtful, "I noticed it first last night, but then twice this morning."