"Adam and Eve" joke
The Lord decided it was time to make a companion for Adam.
He summoned St. Peter and told him of His decision.
He told St. Peter that he wanted to make a being who was similar to man, yet was different, and could offer him comfort, companionship and pleasure.
The Lord said He would call this being woman. So St. Peter went about creating this being, which was similar to man yet was different in ways that would be appealing and could provide physical pleasure to man. When St. Peter had finished creating this being who could now be called woman he summoned The Lord.
'Ah, St. Peter, once again you have done an excellent job', said The Lord
'Thank You, O Great One, I live but to serve.' replied St. Peter.' I am now ready to provide the brain, nerve endings and senses to this..... .. woman. I require your assistance on this matter Lord.'
'You shall make her brain, slightly smaller, yet more intuitive, more feeling, more compassionate, and more adaptable than man's,' said God.
'The nerve endings, said St. Peter.' How many will I put in her hands?'
'How many did we put in Adam?', asked The Lord.
'Two hundred, O Mighty One', replied St. Peter.
'Then we shall do the same for this woman,' said The Lord.
'And how many nerve endings shall we put in her feet?'
'How many did we put in Adam?', asked The Lord.
'Seventy five, O Mighty One', replied St. Peter.
'Ah yes, these beings are constantly on their feet so they benefit from having less nerve endings there, do the same for woman', said He.
'How many nerve endings should we put in woman's genitals', inquired St. Peter.
'How many did we put in Adam?', asked The Lord.
'Four hundred and twenty, O Mighty One', replied St. Peter.
'Of course, we did want Adam to have a means of receiving extra pleasure in his life, didn't we? Do the same for woman', said The Lord.
'Oh Yes, Great Lord', said St. Peter.
'No, wait.' said The Lord.' Let's give her ten thousand, I want her to scream my name EVERY Time!'
Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.
First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on my and stick me in a jar.
The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever more...
A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"
"Guilty", said the man in the dock.
At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted more...
A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because,' It's a lot of money!'
After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her more...