Mighty Jokes

The Lord decided it was time to make a companion for Adam.

He summoned St. Peter and told him of His decision.

He told St. Peter that he wanted to make a being who was similar to man, yet was different, and could offer him comfort, companionship and pleasure.

The Lord said He would call this being woman. So St. Peter went about creating this being, which was similar to man yet was different in ways that would be appealing and could provide physical pleasure to man. When St. Peter had finished creating this being who could now be called woman he summoned The Lord.

'Ah, St. Peter, once again you have done an excellent job', said The Lord

'Thank You, O Great One, I live but to serve.' replied St. Peter.' I am now ready to provide the brain, nerve endings and senses to this..... .. woman. I require your assistance on this matter Lord.'

'You shall make her brain, slightly smaller, yet more intuitive, more feeling, more more...

I found a mouse in my apartment the other day. What is it that makes mice able to eat all of your shit regardless of where you store it? I had a bucket of weight gaining supplements that I'm taking (because that shit doesn't come in single servings, it only comes in the 50 lb. industrial sized paint bucket) sitting on the top shelf in the cupboards. The mouse somehow climbed up into the cupboards and broke into the bucket and ate half the powder.


So now I have Mighty Mouse on steroids walking through my apartment, harrassing the neighborhood cats, bench pressing my furniture, bitching that my movie selection sucks, drinking my beer, kicking my ass in NCAA 07 for Xbox.

I understand it though, it's the Roid Rage. He doesn't really mean it. Deep down I know that he really loves me.

A Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face.

"Say Mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm"?
"Because he was conceived during a mighty storm", she said.

Then he asked "Why is my sister named Cornflower"?
"Well your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her", she replied.

He then asked "And why is my other sister called Moonchild"?
"We were watching the moon-landing when she was conceived", the mother replies.

The mother paused and said to her son...
"Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious"

In the beginning, the plan for a divine human design was painstakingly implemented. "How many nerve endings will I put in her hands?" asked St. Peter. "How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord. "Two hundred, O Mighty One." "Then we shall do the same for the woman," The Lord replied. "How many nerve endings should we put in her genitals, O Mightiest?" "How many did we put in Adam?" "Four hundred and twenty, O Mighty One." "Oh yeah, now I remember. We wanted Adam to have a little fun procreating, didn't we? Do the same for woman." "Yes, O Great Lord." "Wait! Hold it, Pete, give her ten thousand, it'll be a hoot to hear her scream out my name..."

In the beginning, the plan for a divine human design was painstakingly implemented.
"The nerve endings," said St. Peter, "how many will I put in her hands?"
"How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord.
"Two hundred, O Mighty One."
"Then we shall do the same for the woman."
"How many nerve endings should we put in woman's genitals, O Mightiest?"
"How many did we put in Adam?"
"Four hundred twenty, O Mighty One."
"Oh yeah, now I remember, we wanted Adam to have a little fun procreating, didn't we? Do the same for woman."
"Yes, O Great Lord."
"Wait! Hold it, Pete, Give her ten thousand, it'd be a hoot to hear her scream out my name..."