Las Vegas Jokes

A fire today closed the Las Vegas Monte Carlo hotel and casino.

Seventeen people were injured in the blaze but no O.J. Simpson memorabilia were damaged.

Las Vegas's Bellagio hotel hosted its annual Pole-a-palooza competition, awarding a $10,000 first prize for the best shimmy-down performer. The event was affectionally called a "beat assignment" by journalists and patrons alike.

Las Vegas reacts to the tragic and sudden loss of renowned entertainer, Danny Gans.
Said Celine Dion, "He will be sadly missed."
Said The Amazaing Jonathan, "There's no replacing him."
Sigfried and Roy's, Roy Horn said, "The news shocked him like nothing before in his life......Well...maybe one other thing."

Forbes latest list of the 400 richest Americans puts Las Vegas Sands CEO, Sheldon Adelson, at number three, worth $20.5 billion. Forbes reports that last year the casino mogul made $1 million per hour. Sadly, he was paid in buckets of nickels.

Breaking News... Britney Spears has married OJ Simpson. Commenting on the wedding, Britney thinks the stability of being married again will help influence the judges decision to prove once and for all she is serious about raising her kids in a stable environment. OJ had no comment on the wedding, but smiled and said "What goes on in Vegas stays in Vegas".