Lass Jokes

The modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie and asked if she might have the sentence, "If you can read this you're too damn close" embroidered on her panties and bra. "Yes Madame," said the clerk. "I'm quite certain that could be done. Would you prefer block or script letters?" "Braille," she replied.

One day wee jordy was out walking with his lass in the fields of scotland,
while walking through the heather the lass says;
"ah wee jordy i can tell you want to hold my hand!
wee jordy says "aye lass that i do, but how can you tell?
Well she says "i can tell by the gleam in your eye."
Walking along a bit further she says to him "wee jordy i can tell you want
to give me a kiss".
"well I lass that i do, but how can you tell?"
"ah wee jordy, i can tell by the gleam in your eye!"
Walking along a bit further she says "wee jordy i can tell you want to
make love to me".
he says, "aye lass that i do! you can tell by the gleam in my eye!"
"No!" she says... "by the tilt in your kilt!"

One day wee jordy was out walking with his lass in the fields of scotland, while walking through the heather the lass says;"ah wee jordy i can tell you want to hold my hand! wee jordy says "aye lass that i do, but how can you tell? Well she says "i can tell by the gleam in your eye."Walking along a bit further she says to him "wee jordy i can tell you wantto give me a kiss"."well I lass that i do, but how can you tell?""ah wee jordy, i can tell by the gleam in your eye!"Walking along a bit further she says "wee jordy i can tell you want tomake love to me".he says, "aye lass that i do! you can tell by the gleam in my eye!""No!" she says... "by the tilt in your kilt!"

It's Father O'Brien's night to hear confessions, and there are four nuns in the lineup. The first nun goes into the confessional and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned, and I should let you know right off that I touched a man with my finger!"
"Oh lass!' Tis nothin', you could have been in a crowded elevator or some similar place," the priest says.
"Oh no, Father!" exclaims the nun. "I touched him right on his private parts!" >
"You slut! You filthy tart!" screams the good father. "Say a hundred Hail Mary's and dip your finger in the holy water on the way out of the church!" Which she does.
The second nun enters the confessional and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned, and I want to say that I held a man with my hand."
"Oh lass!' Tis nothin', you might have stumbled and he lent you a hand," the priest says.
"Oh no, Father!" exclaims the nun. "I more...

One day wee jordy was out walking with his lass in the fields of scotland, while walking through the heather the lass says;"ah wee jordy i can tell you want to hold my hand! wee jordy says "aye lass that i do, but how can you tell? Well she says "i can tell by the gleam in your eye." Walking along a bit further she says to him "wee jordy i can tell you wantto give me a kiss"." well I lass that i do, but how can you tell?" "ah wee jordy, i can tell by the gleam in your eye!"Walking along a bit further she says "wee jordy i can tell you want tomake love to me". he says, "aye lass that i do! you can tell by the gleam in my eye!""No!" she says... "by the tilt in your kilt!"