Later Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day the owner of a porno store goes out for a while, leaving the shop to his
salesman. Soon a woman goes into the porno shop.
She asks, "How much for the white dildo?"
The Shopkeeper answers, "$35."
She: "How much for the black one?"
He: "$35 for the black one, $35 for the white one."
She: "I think I'll take the black one. I've never had a black one before."
She pays him, and off she goes.
A little bit later a black woman comes in and asks, "How much for the black
dildo?"
He: "$35."
She: "How much for the white one?"
He: "$35 for the white one, $35 for the black one."
She: "Hmmm... I think I'll take the white one. I've never had a white one
before..."
She pays him, and off she goes.
About an hour later a young blonde woman comes in and asks, "How much are your
dildos?"
He: "$35 for the white, $35 more...

An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide. The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred.Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys."Correct," said the chief. "How did you figure it out?"The warrior answered, "It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."

A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet
the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going to die. But we sorry for
you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you
die. What is first wish?"
The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse." The Indians get his horse. The
cowboy grabs the horse's ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on
the back. The horse takes off. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a
naked blonde. She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee with the
cowboy. The Indians look at each other, figuring, "Typical white man-can only
think of one thing."
The second day, the chief says, "What your wish today?"
The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again." The Indians bring him his
horse. The cowboy leans over to the horse and whispers something in the
horse's ear, then slaps it on the back. more...

Three guys walk into a bar the bartender says I will give you three hundred dollars if you can walk in then and make this horse laugh and then cry.
The first person slammed his beer do and said I am going to do it.
Five minutes later he walks out and said that he couldn't do it.
So the second person slams his beer down and slides it then says watch I will do it.
Five minutes later he walks out and says I can't do it.
The third man sets his beer down and says watch I'll do it just watch.
Five minutes later you hear the horse laugh and then cry.
The man walks out and the bartender asks how did you do it.
The man replies first I told the horse I had a bigger dick so that made him laugh then I proved it so he cried.

THE FOLLOWING STORY CONTAINS EXPLICIT USAGE OF OBSCENE LANGUAGE IN A SEXUAL
CONTEXT. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE BELOW THE ACCEPTABLE AGE OF 18 YEARS. THE
AUTHOR IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY VIOLATION OR IGNORANCE OF THIS WARNING.

There was once a posh gentleman who went to this luxurious, and highly
pompous restaurant for a lavish dinner. He called a waiter, asked for the
menu card, and then ordered a French soup a la' creme. Moments later, the
waiter returned with the soup with his index finger poked inside the
soup-bowl. Seeing this disgusting sight, the gentleman was dismayed, but
with regard to his gentlemanly manner, remained quiet. He then ordered for
apetizers, and the main course.
During each of his courses, he noticed that the waiter was always poking his
thumb into the dish. This time, the man was utterly annoyed, but still
stayed calm, forcing his urging desire to punch the waiter, to regress.
After enjoying more...

[Noted in HARVARD MAGAZINE, September/October 1990.]
Conservative Member of Parliament Geoffrey Dickens tells of attending a fair
in his constituency and being followed around by a sweet but exceptionally
ugly woman whom he couldn't get rid of.
A few days later he got an admiring letter from her asking for his
photograph, and signed, after her name, "(Horseface)."
Dickens was touched by her humorous modesty and sent off a picture
autographed, "To Horseface, with best wishes, Geoffrey Dickens."
Some time later his secretary asked him, "Did you get that letter from the
woman at the fair? I wrote 'Horseface' after her name so you'd know which
one she was."

The Barber Shop This guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around at shop full of customers and says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves. A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About an hour and a half." The guy leaves. The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey, Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes." In a little while, Bill comes back into the shop laughing hysterically. The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?" Bill looked up and said, "To your house."