Laughter Jokes / Recent Jokes
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet.
The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.
Many people had tried over time...weightlifters, longshoremen, etc. but nobody could do it.
One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice,'' I'd like to try the bet.''
After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.
But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender payed the $1000, and asked the little man,'' what do you do for a living? Are you a more...
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
The Wall Street Journal reported in September that about 100 "laughing clubs" had sprung up in India in the last year based on the philosophy of Dr. Madan Kataria, who says the ancient yoga breathing and laughing exercises can help people shed inhibitions, build self-confidence, stop smoking, alleviate high blood pressure and arthritis, and stop migraine headaches.
After conventional stretching, adherents engage in silent laughs, out-loud laughs with their lips closed, and the roaring "Bombay laugh." Dr. Kataria worries only that some day, the Indian government might try to tax laughter.
In a small town there existed a jokes club. They met once a week and told each
other jokes. It turned out that the same jokes were repeated on and on. In order
to be able to tell more jokes in an evening the club decided to give a number to
each joke. The members had to learn the numbers and so they only had to tell the
number of the joke.
One day a visitor was invited to join a session.
Somebody shouted, "94!" Twenty seconds of laughter followed.
"123!" Ten seconds of laughter.
"74!" Twelve seconds of laughter.
And so on it went all the evening. The visitor was somehow puzzled. At some
point he decided also to shout a number, "365!" There followed more than five
minutes of laughter. The visitor was even more puzzled.
After the audience came back to silence, he asked the man next to him, "Why were
you laughing such a long time?"
The man answered, "It was the first time we more...
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet: The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze out one more drop of juice would win the money.
Many people had tried over time (weight lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.
One day a scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet."
After the laughter died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.
But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a more...
This is more embarrassing for my mother than for me because I wasn't quite four
years old when it happened. My mother taught me to read when I was 3 years old
(her first mistake).
One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet door was ajar. I read
the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping napkins in the
bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with
unnecessary facts she told me that those were for special occasions.
Now fast forward a few months. It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to
pick up the pastor and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while
they were gone. Mine was to set the table.
When they returned, the pastor came in first and immediately burst into laughter.
Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who
roared with laughter. Then came mom, who almost died of embarrassment when more...