Lawn Jokes / Recent Jokes
Hal E. Luya (Hallelujah)
Hal Jalikakick (How'd ya like a kick)
Hammond Eggs (Ham and Eggs)
Hank E. Panky (Hanky Panky)
Harmon Ikka (Harmonica)
Harris Mint (Harassment)
Harrison Fire (Hair is on Fire)
Harry Balzac (Hairy Ball Sack)
Harry Weiner (Hairy Wiener)
Hayden Seek (Hide & Seek)
Haywood Jablowme (Hey, Would You Blow Me?)
Haywood Jashootmee (Hey Would You Shoot Me?)
Hein Noon (High Noon)
Helen Back (Hell and Back)
Helena Hanbaskett (Hell In A Hand Basket)
Henador Titzhoff (He Gnawed Her Tits Off)
Herbie Hind (Her Behind)
Herb E. Side (Herbiside)
Herbie Voor (Herbivore)
Holden Mcgroin (Holding My Groin)
Holly Dayin (Holiday Inn)
Holly Wood (Hollywood)
Homan Provement (Home Improvent)
Homer Sexual (Homosexual)
Howard I. No (How Would I Know?)
Howe D. Pardner (Howdy Partner)
Hu Flung Pu (Who Flung Poo?)
Huang Annsaw (Wrong Answer)
Hugh Beeotch more...
So, these two guys are car pooling home from work one day. Traffic is barely crawling along and they are both a bit bored. So the driver is looking around and suddenly he points at two dogs having sex in someone's front lawn.
"Look", he shouts, "What are the those dogs doing? Are they fighting?" The passenger, being a man of the world, replies, "They are having sex. Don't tell me that you have never had sex doggie style before?" The driver, a bit embarrassed, admits that he has never had sex doggie style. So the passenger says, "You have to try it. Its pretty cool. Here's what you do. Tonight when you get home, fix your wife a margarita and then suggest that you want to try this new sexual position." The driver thinks a bit and then decides he will give it a try.
So the next morning, the two commuters are back in the car and the passenger asks, "Well. How did it go?" To which the driver replies, "It was more...
A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest... the grass was very thickand long, and it took the boy about 4 hours to cut. He approachedthe Father for payment and the priest paid him $1. 00. The boy said "Thank you, virgin Father!"The priest replied, "What did you say?" The boy repeated, "Thank you, virgin Father!"The priest asked him, "Do you know what that means?" The boy replied, "Yes.... tight ass!"
An expectant mother went into labor and was being rushed to hospital, but she didn't quite make it inside. She gave birth to the baby on the hospital's front lawn.
A week later, she received a bill from the hospital which listed, 'Delivery Room Fee - $600'. She immediately wrote the hospital a letter reminding them that her baby had been born on the front lawn.
About a week later, she received an amended bill stating "Green Fees - $250.
A man was watering is lawn one day when he looked and coming up the street was two hearse's followed by a man, his dog and a single file line of about 200 men. The guy watering his lawn thought this was rather odd and decided to ask the first guy (with the dog) what was going on. The guy said "that's my wife in the first hearse, my dog bit her and she died". The guy watering the lawn said, "Oh, I'm terribly sorry to hear that, what about the second hearse?". The other guy said "well thats my mother-in-law, my dog also bit her and she died". The guy with the lawn thinks for a minute and says, "can I borrow your dog?". The guy with the dog responds, "Back of the line!".