Lazy Jokes / Recent Jokes

A lazy angler cast his line but was hardly taking any notice of the float going down. A passerby seeing this could not resist pulling the string, and caught a good fish. "Thank you," said the angler, "would you bait the hook and cast it for me please." The man did so, but said, " I wish you had a little child to take care of such things." The lazy fellow thought for' a while and said "I am a bachelor. By the way, any idea about a pregnant bride?"

Luck is a lazy person's estimate of a worker's success.

That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing! I told you he was a bum steer!

Yo Mama is so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs!

Why are rivers lazy? Because they never get off their beds.

Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a non-lazy man (who helps out around the house), and a lazy man are about to jump off a bridge into water. Who makes the biggest splash?
A: The lazy man. The other 3 don't exist.
Q: Why don't men do laundry?
A: Because the washer and dryer don't run on remote control!
Q: Why do men have a hole at the end of their penis?
A: So they can think open-mindedly.
Q: What's a man's idea of protected sex?
A: A padded headboard.
Q: What do you call a woman that works like a man?
A: A Lazy bitch.
Q: Why did God create men?
A: Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.
Q: Why is urine yellow and sperm white?
A: So men can tell if they are coming or going.
Q: How are men like parking spaces?
A: he good ones are always taken and all that is left are handicapped
Q: What do you call a man with an I. Q. of 50?
A: Gifted
Q: What's the difference between a man and a cow?
A: One brain more...

A visitor was strolling along the coastal area one morning. During his walk he came upon a fellow, fishing pole clutched in his hands, sound asleep against the side of a huge coastal rock. Just then the pole began to jerk violently.
"Hey, there!" cried the visitor as he roused the fisherman. "Look out there! You have a bite."
"So I do," yawned the drowsy one glancing out at the water. "If you don't mind, will you pull in the line for me?"
The visitor, somewhat surprised, did as he was requested.
"Now, mister," continued the fisherman, "put some fresh bait on the hook and cast the line out for me."
Again the visitor complied. After doing so he turned to the lazy angler. "You know," he declared, "anyone as lazy as you ought to get married and have a son to do these things for him."
"That's a good idea," beamed the fisherman. "Know where I could find a pregnant more...