"Dumb Men Jokes 2" joke

Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a non-lazy man (who helps out around the house), and a lazy man are about to jump off a bridge into water. Who makes the biggest splash?
A: The lazy man. The other 3 don't exist.
Q: Why don't men do laundry?
A: Because the washer and dryer don't run on remote control!
Q: Why do men have a hole at the end of their penis?
A: So they can think open-mindedly.
Q: What's a man's idea of protected sex?
A: A padded headboard.
Q: What do you call a woman that works like a man?
A: A Lazy bitch.
Q: Why did God create men?
A: Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.
Q: Why is urine yellow and sperm white?
A: So men can tell if they are coming or going.
Q: How are men like parking spaces?
A: he good ones are always taken and all that is left are handicapped
Q: What do you call a man with an I. Q. of 50?
A: Gifted
Q: What's the difference between a man and a cow?
A: One brain cell that prevents them from shitting all over the place!
Q: How are men and beer bottles alike?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why do woman fake orgasms?
A: Because men fake foreplay!
Q: Did you hear about the baby born with both sexes?
A: It had a penis AND a brain!
Q: How many men does it take to make popcorn?
A: Four, one to hold the pot, and three to act macho and shake the stove.
Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: No one knows, it's never happened
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only 1 (Men are good at screwing things up!)
Q: What is the difference between government bonds and men?
A: Government bonds mature.
Q: What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
A: Put the remote control between his toes
Q: What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?
A: Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
Q: What's the difference between a man and E. T.?
A: E. T. phoned home.
Q: Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
A: When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: "I can do better than this."
Q: How do men define a 50-50 relationship?
A: We cook; they eat. We clean; they dirty. We iron; they wrinkle.
Q: How do men exercise at the beach?
A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Q: What does a man consider to be a seven-course meal?
A; A hot dog and a six-pack.
Q; How are men like noodles?
A: They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
Q; Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
A: When the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions.