Leader Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two little aliens were flying through the desert in there spaceship one day when they came across an old abandoned gas station. The first little alien said the the second little alien maybe we should check it out...so the second little alien said ok! so the second little alien tells the first lil alien you stay here ill go check it out... well the little alien is walking around for a while and he doesnt see anything, so he walks up to the gas pump and he says take me to your leader... well the gas pump doesnt do anything so the little alien says again take me to your leader..well that gas pump still doesnt do anything, so the little alien takes out his ray gun takes a step back and says take me to your leader or ill blast you! the gas pump still doesnt do anything so the lil alien shot the gas tank with his ray beam and took off running when he got back in the space ship he said lets go lets go the first lil alien says well whats wrong, the second lil alien said i knew it i knew it i more...

Two Aliens land in Detroit, next to a Gas station. The Aliens waddle out of their ship and look around. The first thing they see that resembles a being is the Gas pump. The two Aliens approach.
The first one says "Earthling take me to your leader!"
He gets no response.
The first Alien looks at his buddy then addresses the pump again. "Earthling, I said Take me to your leader!"
Still no response.
The first Alien then turns to the second and says, "If this Earthling doesn't show me some respect I'm going to blast him!"
The second Alien replies "O.K. but, I'm just going to stand down on the next block."
The first Alien looks a little puzzled, but waits for the other to waddle to the next block. He then addresses pump a third time.
"Earthling take me to your leader!"
No response.
The Alien then pulls out his ray-gun and shoots the pump. After the explosion the Alien gets up, dusts himself off then more...

Two Aliens land in Detroit, next to a Gas station. The Aliens waddle out of their ship and look around. The first thing they see that resembles a being is the Gas pump. The two Aliens approach.The first one says "Earthling take me to your leader!"He gets no response.The first Alien looks at his buddy then addresses the pump again. "Earthling, I said Take me to your leader!"Still no response.The first Alien then turns to the second and says, "If this Earthling doesn't show me some respect I'm going to blast him!"The second Alien replies "O.K. but, I'm just going to stand down on the next block."The first Alien looks a little puzzled, but waits for the other to waddle to the next block. He then addresses pump a third time."Earthling take me to your leader!"No response.The Alien then pulls out his ray-gun and shoots the pump. After the explosion the Alien gets up, dusts himself off then goes down the block to his buddy.He then says to the more...

Two Aliens land in Detroit, next to a Gas station. The Aliens waddle out of their ship and looked around. The first thing they see that resembles a being is the Gas pump. The two Aliens approach.
The first one says "Earthling take me to your leader!" He gets no response.
The first Alien looks at his buddy then addresses the pump again. "Earthling, I said Take me to your leader!" Still no response.
The first Alien then turns to the second and says "If this Earthling doesn't show me some respect I'm going to blast him!"
The second Alien replies "O.K. but, I'm just going to stand down on the next block."
The first Alien looks a little puzzled, but waits for the other to waddle to the next block. He then addresses the pump a third time. "Earthling take me to your leader!" No response.
The Alien then pulls out his ray-gun and shoots the pump.
After the explosion the Alien gets up dusts himself off then goes down more...

Jesse Jackson is visiting a primary school and he visits one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the Reverend Jackson if he would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy." So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."
One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.
"No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted spiritual leader. "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer.
Rev. Jackson searches the room. more...

Jesse Jackson is visiting a primary school and he visits one of the classes. They're in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the "Rev" Jackson if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy."
So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy". One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy."
"No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "That would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted spiritual leader. "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Rev. Jackson searches the more...

One summer night, while Little Johnny was at camp, he woke up in the middle of the night. He was scared of the sounds from the woods around the camp, so he ran to the camp leader's shack. He banged on the door, and the gorgeous blonde camp leader, dressed in only her nightie, opened the door.
"I can't sleep! The woods are spooking me, can I sleep in here with you?"
"No! Go back to bed", replied the blonde. "Please? My mom lets me sleep with her when I'm scared."
The blonde thought for a minute and said ok. They laid down, and Johnny asked if he could play with her belly button. "NO! Why would you do that?!"
"My mom let's me when I'm scared, and I'm feeling really homesick!"
"Fine, go ahead. If it makes you feel better, I don't see the harm in it."
She pulls up her nightie so he can play with her belly button. A moment passes and the blonde shouts out "Hey!! That's not my belly more...