Leaning Jokes

A blonde and a brunette jump off of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Who lands first?

Once upon a time there was an elderly gentleman that was suffering from Alzheimer's. His wife of 40 years loved him very much, but she couldn't handle him any longer. He would wander about never knowing where he was or sometimes even who he was. She took him to a nursing home.
At the nursing home, while the wife was filling out paperwork, a nurse had the gentleman sit in a chair.
Suddenly the man starting slowly leaning to hisleft. The nurse ran over and put a pillow on his left side to prop him up.
A few minutes later, he started leaning to his right. Again, the nurse ran over and put a pillow on his right side.
Then he started leaning forward. This time, the nurse strapped him into the chair.
About this time, his wife, having completed the paperwork, walked up to him and asked, "How do you like the place?"
"It's okay," he said. "But, they won't let me fart."

Once upon a time there was an elderly gentleman who was suffering from Alzheimer's. His wife of 40 years loved him very much, but she couldn't handle him any longer. He would wander about never knowing where he was or sometimes even who he was. She took him to a nursing home.
At the nursing home, while the wife was filling out paperwork, a nurse had the gentleman sit in a chair. Suddenly the man starting slowly leaning to his left. The nurse ran over and put a pillow on his left side to prop him up.
A few minutes later, he started leaning to his right.
Again, the nurse ran over and put a pillow on his right side.
Then he starting leaning forward.
This time, the nurse strapped him into the chair.
About this time, his wife, having completed the paperwork, walked up to him and asked, "How do you like the place?"
"It's okay," he said. "But, they won't let me fart!"

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday weretaking place.
Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes when she needed to communicate.
After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off
to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so
again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.
Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again
grabbed her, and then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.
A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said,
Hi, Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?'
Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew......
' Bastards won't let me fart.'

The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man leaning heavily against a wall. The owner goes inside and asks his clerk what's up. "He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn't find the cough syrup," the clerk explains. "So I gave him a laxative and told him to take it all at once." "Laxatives won't cure a cough, you idiot," the owner shouts angrily. "Sure it will," the clerk says, pointing at the man leaning on the wall. "Look at him. He's afraid to cough."