Learn Jokes / Recent Jokes

Eight year old Johnnie came home from school one day. At the supper table he announced to his mother and father that tomorrow in school they were going to learn about sex education. The next evening at the dinner table Johnnie's mother asked, "Well Johnnie, what did you learn about sex education today?" Johnnie said, "I think the teacher said we should avoid inter-sections and buy condominiums."

"Filthy Stinking Rich... Well, Two Out of Three Ain't Bad""I Used Up All My Sick Days... So I Called In Dead""Husband and Cat Lost... Reward for Cat""Happiness Is Seeing Your Mother-in-Law on a Milk Carton""Just Give Me Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt""Learn from Your Parents' Mistakes... Use Birth Control""If God Had Wanted Me to Touch My Toes, He Would Have Put Them on My Knees""If You Can Read This... Kiss A Teecher""Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up""If You Remember the' 60s, You Weren't Really There""Procrastinate Now""Rehab Is for Quitters"(Across a drawing of a skeleton) "Waiting for the Perfect Man""My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse.... ... He Couldn't do Better and I Couldn't Do Worse""The More I Learn About Women, the More I Love My Harley"

One does not learn computing by using a hand calculator, but one can forget arithmetic.

Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron," then we could
do without the ironing lady.
Blonde Wife: Well if you would learn to fuck me properly we could do
without the gardener.

Mullah Nasrudin, wisest man in Islam, entered England of a visit."Do you have anything to declare?" asked the customs inspector."No - sssssst, bzzz - nothing at all.""How long do you plan to stay?""Oh, about - ssssssssszzzzt, bzzz - about three weeks.""By the way, where did you learn English?""From the - bzzz, bzzz, sszzzzzzzzbzzz - radio."

Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron," then we coulddo without the ironing lady.Blonde Wife: Well if you would learn to fuck me properly we could dowithout the gardener.

Three New Zealanders and three Aussies are travelling by train to a cricket match at the World Cup in England. At the station, the three Aussies each buy a ticket and watch as the three New Zealanders buy just one ticket between them. "How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of the Aussies. "Watch and learn," answers one of the New Zealanders. They all board the train. The Aussies take their respective seats but all three New Zealanders cram into a toilet and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Aussies see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the game, they decide to copy the New Zealanders on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all more...