Learn Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information"
"To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted.
"It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information?"
"To save lives," the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted.
"It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.
1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.2. It's best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.3. You can do it with no hands, but it's best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.4. It's easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.5. You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun.6. It's usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.7. It's best to have a soft place to land.8. You don't need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.9. If you're with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it's usually best to slow down and wait for them.10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.11. Once you learn, you never forget how.12. If you fall off get right back on.13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.14. Remember to signal before you change direction.15. Make sure that you've got a firm grip.16. Sometimes it's nice to more...
A boy from France comes to America. He wants to learn some new words so he goes to the airport and learns "take off." Then he learnes "zebra" from the zoo and "baby" from the hospital. Then he goes home and says, Mommy, I learned new words today. She says, "Great, honey what did you learn?" He says, Takeoffzebrababy!
A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for
being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise
money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to
your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the
underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you
have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one more...
Do you remember the Charlie Brown specials that taught valuable life lessons to a generation of kids? Well here are some new episodes: Peanuts specials for kids of the 90's: We learn about VD in:"IT BURNS WHEN I PEE, CHARLIE BROWN"Charlie and the little redheaded girl learn about unwanted pregnancy in:"I'M STARTING TO SHOW, CHARLIE BROWN!"Is Linus gay?" ITS A DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE, CHARLIE BROWN"Charlie moves back to his house in East L. A in:"OYE! VATO! QUE PASA, CARLITO MORENO?" See how the Peanuts Gang deals with date rape in:"NO MEANS NO, CHARLIE BROWN!"Franklin speaks! The Peanuts gang gets a lesson in Ebonics in:"IMO BUSTA CAP INYO ASS, CHARLIE BROWN"What goes on the mind of a serial killer? Discover the inner workings of Pig Pen's twisted psyche and meet his murderous alter ego "Mr. Clean" in:"GOD TOLD ME TO DO IT, CHARLIE BROWN"Schroder teaches the Peanuts gang about getting high in:"ROLL US more...