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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. If all the cars in the United States were placed end-to-end, it would probably be Memorial Day Weekend... Confucius says: Man who drives like hell bound to get there. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Can you learn to read from a "Reading for Dummies" book?

Banta had just moved to Bangalore. He had trouble speaking to the local people and decided to learn Kannada.
He went to a bookstore and picked up two copies of Learn Kannada in Thirty Days. The shopkeeper asked,' Is one of them for your friend?'
'Oh, no, no, I want to learn Kannada in fifteen days itself.'

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles. Two wrongs are only the beginning. Work is accomplished by those employees who are still striving to reach their level of incompetence. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. (The corollary is: You never learn to pray until your kids learn to drive!) Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up. (Project Management at its best) Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. I doubt, therefore I might be. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it. Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things. Women like silent men, they think they’re listening.

What does a Gorilla learn first in school? The Apey-cees!

You don't learn anything the second time a mule kicks you.