Legal Jokes / Recent Jokes
What do you have when you've got 100 lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?
Not enough sand
Q:How is a lawyer and a human sperm alike?
A: They each have a one in a million chance of becoming a human being.
A truck driver would amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back onto the road.
(at this point some of you are probably wondering how the trucker could distinguish the lawyers from the humans. Obviously he saw the trail of slime they left...)
One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over.
He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"
"I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the priest.
"No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck." The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road.
Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer more...
Ok, what is the difference between a vampire and a lawyer?
One is a soulless blood sucker and the other can turn into a bat.
Q:What's the difference between a porcupine and two lawyers in a porsche?
A:With the porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.
"I have good news and bad news," the defense attorney told his client. "First the bad news. The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with that found at the crime scene."
"Oh, no!" cried the client. "What's the good news?"
"Your cholesterol is only 140."