Lending Jokes

Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again."
Soldier: "Do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "No, SIR!"

Don't lend people money...it gives them amnesia.

Lending A Hand
Two junior co-eds went to the movies one night.,
The first girl said"Whatshould I do? The
guy sitting next to me is masturbating."
Her friend replied, "Don't do
anything. Just ignore it."
The first girl said, "I can't."
Her friendsaid,"Why can'tyou ignore it?"
The first one says, "Because he's using
myhand!"