"Military etiquette" joke

Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again."
Soldier: "Do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "No, SIR!"

your momas so fat when she steped on a scale the scale said o shit i want ur weight not ur fone number

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A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good more...

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A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.

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I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...

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Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

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