Leprechaun Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day a man with a box walked in a bar. He sat down, opened the box and out popped a leprechaun. The man told the bartender, "I want a pint of beer and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here."
There was man sitting at the end of the bar watching all of this and, after the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he ran down to the end of the bar and spit in the guy's face, then he ran back.
The guy with the box said, "I'll have another beer and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here."
After the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he again ran to the end of the bar and spit in the man's face, then dashed back.
The guy with the box ordered another beer for himself and another shot for the leprechaun. Again, after the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he ran down to the end of the bar. But this time the man was waiting for him and he grabbed the leprechaun and held him in the air.
He said, "If you spit in my face again, I'm going to cut your more...
One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one.
Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway. He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge knot on his head, and the golf ball lying right beside him.
"Goodness," says the golfer, and proceeds to revive the poor little guy.
Upon awaking, the little guy says, "Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun. I will grant you three wishes."
The man says, "I can't take anything from you, I'm just glad I didn't hurt you too badly," and walks away.
Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun thinks to himself, "Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things that I would want. I'll give him unlimited money, a great golf game, and a great sex life."
Well, a year goes by and the same golfer is out more...
A little boy asked his teacher if he could go to
the bathroom, so she said yes. When he went to
wipe his bum there was no toilet paper so he used
his hands. When he got back to class his teacher
asked, "What do you have in your hand."The boy
said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hand
he'll get scared away."
He was then sent to the principals office and
the principal asked him, "What do you have in
your hand."
So the little boy said, "a little leprechaun and
if I open my hands he'll get scared away."
He was sent home and his mom asked him "What do
you have in your hand."
So the little boy said, "a little leprechaun and
if I open my hands he'll get scared away."
He was sent to his room and his dad came in and
said, "What do you have in your hand."
So again the little boy said, "A little
leprechaun and if I open my more...
One fine Irish morning, a guy is out on the golf course and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one but, unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway.
He goes searching for his ball and comes across a wee little fellow with a huge knot on his head, and the golf ball lying right beside him. "Goodness," says the golfer, as he proceeds to revive the poor little fellow.
Upon awaking, the little fellow says, "Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun. I will grant you three wishes."
The golfer says, "I couldn't take anything from you, I'm just glad I didn't hurt you too badly," and he walks away.
Watching the golfer leave, the leprechaun thinks, "Well, he was a very nice guy, and he did catch me, so I must do something for him. I'll give him three things that I would want, unlimited money, a great golf game, and a great sex life."
A year goes by and the same golfer is out golfing on the more...
Q: What kind of music does a leprechaun band play?
A: Shamrock' n' roll!
Teacher: "Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?"
Student: "Because it was too far for them to crawl."
Q: What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun with a frog?
A: A little green with a croak of gold!
Q: What did the leprechaun say to the elf?
A: "How's the weather up there?'
Q: What would you get if you crossed an Irishman with a basketball star?
A: Eire Jordan!
A little boy asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes. When he went to wipe his bum there was no toilet paper so he used his hands. When he got back to class his teacher asked,' What do you have in your hand.' The boy said,' A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away.' He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him,' What do you have in your hand.' So the little boy said,' A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away.' He was sent home and his mom asked him' What do you have in your hand.' So the little boy said,' A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away.' He was sent to his room and his dad came in and said,' What do you have in your hand.' So again the little boy said,' A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he get scared away.' Then his Dad got really mad and yelled,' Open your hands!' And the little boy said,' Look Dad you scared the crap out of him.'
This guy is sitting at a bar having a few wobbly-pops and suddenly gets this feeling that he has to go make an urgent call to the potty. So he goes into the bathroom and sees this really short guy taking a piss. He takes the stall next to this short guy, and while taking a piss the guy happens to look over at the little guy and by accident sees his dick. He just can't help saying to the guy "man that is a big dick! I wish that I had a dick that big!"
"Well" says the little guy," I'm leprechaun and I can grant you one wish, and all you have to do is suck on me wang!"
In horror of the thought the man exclaims, "I don't think so you little faggot, even for a dick that size!"
"Fine then" says the leprechaun.
But after a minute of thinking the man says "Alright I'll do it." So the man starts to suck the leprechaun's dick and when he is finished he says "I can't believe that I am going to have a dick that more...