Leprechaun Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man teed off from the seventh hole of his favorite golf course and wound up in a sand trap.

He went to retrieve his ball and found a leprechaun in the sand trap. "Well, you've found me, laddy," said the leprechaun. "I'll grant you one wish - either a year of great golf or a year of great sex."

Without hesitation the man responded, "A year of great golf."

And he enjoyed a whole year of professional grade golf. After the year ended, though, he went back to his terrible scores of before.

Again on his favorite course, he again wound up in the same sand trap and again found the same
leprechaun. The leprechaun promised to grant him one wish - with exactly the same choice as before, great golf or great sex.

Without any hesitation the man asked for "A year of great golf."

The leprechaun was astounded. "Laddie, you look like a red-blooded man. I don't understand why more...

One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway.

He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge knot on his head, and the golf ball lying right beside him.' Goodness,' says the golfer, and proceeds to revive the poor little guy.

Upon awaking, the little guy says,' Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun. I will grant you three wishes.'

The man says,' I can't take anything from you, I'm just glad I didn't hurt you too badly,' and walks away.

Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun thinks,' Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things that I would want. I'll give him unlimited money, a great golf game, and a great sex life.'

Well, a year goes past (as they often do in jokes like this) and the more...

Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
A: Regular rocks are too heavy.
Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they're always a little short.
Q: Why do leprechauns have pots o'gold?
A: They like to "go" first class!
Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He's Dublin over with laughter!
Q: How did the Irish Jig get started?
A: Too much to drink and not enough restrooms!
Q: What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control his wife?
A: A bachelor.
Q: What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick's Day?
A:St. O'Claus!
Q: Are people jealous of the Irish?
A:Sure, they're green with envy!
Q: Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato?
A:To keep from falling in the stew!
Q: Do leprechauns make good secretaries?
A:Sure, they're great at shorthand!
Q: How did the leprechaun beat the Irishman to the pot of gold?
A:He took a more...

Once there was this guy, lets call him Fred, who had a very small penis. Poor Fred thought if only he had larger equipment then maybe the chicks would like him more. One day Fred went into the mens room and a very short man dressed in green was standing there peeing. Well, Fred couldn't help but notice what an enourmous penis the man had and he said as much. "How did it get so big?" he asked incredulously." With magic," the man replied, "I am a leprechaun." Fred was amazed. "Can you make mine that big?" The leprechaun could and said he would if Fred would only do him a small favor... to bend over and let him have his way with Fred. Fred agreed and did so. When they were finished he pulled his pants back up and stood. "How old are you boy?" the man in green asked as he stood at the door." Thirty. Why?" "You're thirty years old and you still believe in leprechauns?"

One day a man was out playing golf, when he sliced his shot off into a patch of buttercups.
Rather disgusted with himself, he went in search of his ball.
After finding it, he was ready to hit the ball back on the fairway when he heard a voice say "please don't hurt my buttercups".
Startled, he looked around to find the source of the voice to no avail.
Again the man prepared to hit his golf ball and again he heard the voice say "please don't hurt my buttercups".
This time when the man looked to find the source of the voice, he saw a small leprechaun standing by him. The little man spoke to the man and said, "Please sir, if you will kindly pick up your ball and throw it up onto the fairway instead of hitting it with your club, I will reward you with a year's supply of butter for free".
The man thought about the offer for a minute then replied, "That's a fine offer, but I have but one question for you, where were you last more...

A very tired looking man walks in to a bar and orders a drink, but as soon as the bartender puts it down, a little leprechaun, just a foot tall, runs out and kits the glass off the table and runs away. The man does not look suprised. He tells the bartender that he'll pay for the damages and can he have another beer. But as soon as the bartender puts the glass down, the leprechaun runs out again and this time he pisses in it and runs away. Now the bar tender asks "excuse me for prying, but what's going on here with that leprechaun?". The tired man looks up a little and says, "well, I was stranded on a desert island once, and I found a genie in a bottle. He said he would grant me one wish, so without even thinking about it, I asked him for what I'd wanted all my life. A twelve inch prick."

One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway.



He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge knot on his head and the golf ball lying right beside him. "Goodness," says the golfer then proceeds to revive the poor little guy.



Upon awakening, the little guy says, "Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun. I will grant you three wishes."



The man says "I can't take anything from you, I'm just glad I didn't hurt you too badly," and walks away.



Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun says, "Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things that I would want. I'll give him unlimited money, a great golf game, and a great sex more...