Leprechaun Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once there was this guy, lets call him Fred, who had a very small penis. Poor Fred thought if only he had larger equipment then maybe the chicks would like him more.
One day Fred went into the mens room and a very short man dressed in green was standing there peeing. Well, Fred couldn't help but notice what an enourmous penis the man had and he said as much. "How did it get so big?" he asked incredulously.
"With magic," the man replied, "I am a leprechaun."
Fred was amazed. "Can you make mine that big?"
The leprechaun could and said he would if Fred would only do him a small favor...to bend over and let him have his way with Fred. Fred agreed and did so. When they were finished he pulled his pants back up and stood.
"How old are you boy?" the man in green asked as he stood at the door.
"Thirty. Why?"
"You're thirty years old and you still believe in leprechauns?"

Once there was this guy, lets call him Fred, who had a very small penis. Poor Fred thought if only he had larger equipment then maybe the chicks would like him more.One day Fred went into the mens room and a very short man dressed in green was standing there peeing. Well, Fred couldn't help but notice what an enourmous penis the man had and he said as much. "How did it get so big?" he asked incredulously."With magic," the man replied, "I am a leprechaun."Fred was amazed. "Can you make mine that big?"The leprechaun could and said he would if Fred would only do him a small favor...to bend over and let him have his way with Fred. Fred agreed and did so. When they were finished he pulled his pants back up and stood. "How old are you boy?" the man in green asked as he stood at the door."Thirty. Why?""You're thirty years old and you still believe in leprechauns?"

A Drunken Night A guy wakes up in a drunken stupor, opening his eyes he sees Claudia Schiffer on the bed next to him. He thinks this is a little odd, as he doesn’t remember a thing, let alone going to bed with her. He decides to get up and get himself a drink from the fridge. He gets to the fridge and opens the door and is faced with a large suitcase. He takes the suitcase out of the fridge, puts it on the table and opens it to find $1 Million. This is just a little too much for the guy who thinks he is losing his mind.
He wonders if he is hallucinating, so he goes to the window and draws back the blind. Outside on his front lawn is the Klu Klux Klan and dangling from the tree is an open noose, empty. They appear to be beckoning him and shouting. Now the guy is really freaked out, he quickly draws the blind and turns around. In the corner of his kitchen is a leprechaun, obviously drunk as well. He asks the leprechaun what is going on. “Well, ” says the leprechaun, “I was more...

An Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. He then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him on the counter. As he’s drinking one drink and the green man is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had a few too many drinks says “Hey, what’s that little green thing down there? ”
The green man runs down the bar gives the Englishman a raspberry, “SPLBLBLBLT!, ” right in the face and runs back to the Irishman.
The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, “Hey, what is that thing, anyway? ”
The Irishman replies, “Have some respect. He’s a leprechaun. ”
“Oh, all right. ” the Englishman says sullenly. They all go back to drinking beer.
An hour or so later, the Englishman is really plastered. “Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard! ” he says. The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a raspberry again- SPLBLBLBLBT!
This time the Englishman is more...

One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway. He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge knot on his head and the golf ball lying right beside him. "Goodness," says the golfer then proceeds to revive the poor little guy. Upon awakening, the little guy says, "Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun. I will grant you three wishes." The man says "I can`t take anything from you, I`m just glad I didn`t hurt you too badly," and walks away. Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun says "Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something for him. I`ll give him the three things that I would want. I`ll give him unlimited money, a great golf game, and a great sex life." Well, a year goes past (as they often do in jokes like this) and the same golfer is out more...

An avid golfer hits his ball into the woods. As he goes to look for it, he stumbles upon a leprechaun who is brewing a mysterious concoction. "What are you making?" asks the golfer. "It smells wonderful." "This is a magic brew," says the leprechaun. "If you drink it, your golf game will improve remarkably, and you'll never be defeated." "Well, then, let me have some," says the golfer. "Have as much as you like," says the leprechaun. "But I must warn you, there is one serious side effect. It will almost certainly diminish your sexual desire." "I can live with that," says the golfer, and gulps down a full cup. The brew works. Just as the leprechaun predicted, the golfer defeats all challengers and within six months, he's the undisput- ed local champion. The golfer is delighted, and one day he goes back into the woods to thank his benefactor. "It worked," says the golfer. "It really worked! I'm more...

An Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. He then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him on the counter. As he's drinking one drink and the green man is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had a few too many drinks says "Hey, what's that little green thing down there?"

The green man runs down the bar gives the Englishman a raspberry, SPLBLBLBLT!, right in the face and runs back to the Irishman. The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, "Hey, what is that thing, anyway?"

The Irishman replies, "Have some respect. He's a leprechaun."

"Oh, all right." the Englishman says sullenly. They all go back to drinking beer.

An hour or so later, the Englishman is really plastered. "Boy, that leprechaun is ugly!" he says. The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a raspberry again- SPLBLBLBLBT! This time the Englishman is more...