Lesbian Jokes / Recent Jokes
An actor auditioned for a part in a musical comedy many years ago. The director was impressed with the young man's talent. He could dance, he could sing, he had perfect comic timing.
The director asked the young man his name.
"Penis van Lesbian," the man replied proudly.
"Well," said the director, "we'll have to change that."
"Oh," the young man said, "I could never change my name. It's my heritage."
"Well," said the director, "if you're not willing to change your name, you'll never go anywhere in show business."
The young man left the theater dejectedly.
A couple of years later, the director and the young man happened to meet on the street.
"Do you remember me," asked the young man?
"Yes, I do," said the director. "I almost cast you once for a musical comedy. What have you been up to."
"Well, I finally took your advice," the young man more...
What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
See you next month!
An actor auditioned for a part in a musical comedy many years ago. The director was impressed with the young man's talent. He could dance, he could sing, he had perfect comic timing.The director asked the young man his name."Penis van Lesbian," the man replied proudly."Well," said the director, "we'll have to change that.""Oh," the young man said, "I could never change my name. It's my heritage.""Well," said the director, "if you're not willing to change your name, you'll never go anywhere in show business."The young man left the theater dejectedly. A couple of years later, the director and the young man happened to meet on the street."Do you remember me," asked the young man?"Yes, I do," said the director. "I almost cast you once for a musical comedy. What have you been up to.""Well, I finally took your advice," the young man said. "I changed my name and I have been more...
Picture an old, musty saloon in Southwest Texas filled with ole West and cattle
raisin' memorabilia. At the bar an old rough and ready cowhand with a dirty
Stetson and well-worn boots and faded Levi's, sits with a glass and a half empty
bottle of "Red Eye". A beautiful young thing comes in and sits right beside him.
She looks him over and asks, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He looks back at her and says, "I get up at the crack of dawn, saddle an old
horse, round up long horns, corral doggies, rope and brand calves, eat dust from
moving herds, live on half-baked beans and bad coffee 365 days a year. Yeah, I'm
a real cowboy. Are you a real model?"
"No," she says. "I'm a lesbian. I wake up in the morning thinking how empty my
bed looks without a sweet young, naked girlish body lying next to me, I bathe
wishing there was a young nubile body in there with me that I could rub with
soap, I go to breakfast more...
Man sitting in a bar, notices a beautiful blonde. He moves toward her and asks if he can buy her a drink. They have several drinks and then he asks if she'd like to go to bed with him. She says, "I can't go to bed with you, I'm a lesbian." "What's a lesbian?" he asks. "See that redhead sitting at the table over there, I'd like to crawl under the table, lift her skifrt and lick her pussy!" "Damn," says the man, "I'm a lesbian too!"
1. What do you call a cupboard full of lesbians? A licker cabinet.
2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian? A Klondyke.
3. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns? Militia Etheridge.
4. Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time? Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face.
5. Why do lesbians like to be reincarnated as whales? So they can have 10 foot tongues and breathe out of the tops of their heads.
6. What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur Traders.
7. What is a lesbian dinosaur called? A Lickalotapuss.
8. What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? Well Hung.
9. What do two lesbians do when they are having their periods? Fingerpaint.
10. What do lesbians call an open can of tuna? POTPOURRI.
11. What did the lesbian vampire say to her partner? See you next month.
12. Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres drowned? She was found face down in Ricki Lake.
13. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? Even more...