Lesbian Jokes / Recent Jokes
What did the one lesbian Vampire say to the other?
see you next month
An actor auditioned for a part in a musical comedy many years ago. The director was impressed with the young man's talent. He could dance, he could sing, he had perfect comic timing. The director asked the young man his name." Penis van Lesbian," the man replied proudly." Well," said the director, "we'll have to change that." "Oh," the young man said, "I could never change my name. It's my heritage." "Well," said the director, "if you're not willing to change your name, you'll never go anywhere in show business." The young man left the theater dejectedly. A couple of years later, the director and the young man happened to meet on the street." Do you remember me," asked the young man?" Yes, I do," said the director. "I almost cast you once for a musical comedy. What have you been up to." "Well, I finally took your advice," the young man said. "I changed my name and I have more...
New Barbie dolls to represent the diversity of women in the 90's:
DIVORCED BARBIE
comes with all of Ken's accessories
TEENAGE SINGLE PARENT BARBIE
"welfare check" from Mattel mailed each month
CRACK ADDICT BARBIE
pipe included, sugar may be used to simulate crack cocaine
BOULEVARD BARBIE
with cheap makeup, short skirt, and high heels
LESBIAN BARBIE
Barbie with a butch
LIPSTICK LESBIAN BARBIE
actually no different in appearance from regular Barbie
BULIMOREXIA BARBIE
also no different in appearance from regular Barbie
BRUNETTE BARBIE
the only Barbie with a brain
QUANTUM PHYSICIST BARBIE
yeah, right
BOW-WOW BARBIE
the ugliest Barbie you've ever seen
PUNK BARBIE
has rings in all sorts of strange places
NAVY PILOT BARBIE
comes with a body bag, wrecked fighter jet sold separately
BREAST IMPLANT BARBIE
now Barbie's a D-cup
CANCER PATIENT BARBIE
remove the wig and Barbie's more...
A young lesbian goes to her gynecologist for her yearly pelvic
examination. She puts on the paper gown and awaits him to come into
the exam room. He instructs her to get up onto the table and place
her feet in the stirrups.
As he is examining her she hears him saying "mmmm... mmmhmmm". He
completes the examination, instructs her to dress and then meet him
in his office when she is done.
In his office she asks him if there was anything unusual that he
observed during the exam because she could not help but hear his
non-verbal comments.
"Oh, that" he says." I was just admiring you. You have the cleanest
vaginal area that I have ever seen in all my years of practice."
The young woman proudly smiled and replied, "Why thank you! I have a
woman come in twice a week and clean it!"
I usually dont tell Irish jokes, but since I'm Irish I think I am entitled to tell this one:
Anyway Paddy walks into this bar and spots this very attractive girl sitting alone, he tells the barman to send her over a drink.
The barman replies "Forget it, your wasting your time, she's a lesbian."
"I dont care" Paddy replies, "Send her over a drink".
Later on he buys her another drink and makes his way towards her. "Hi ya doin? Im Paddy and I'm pleased to meet you!"
The lady replies, "Shove off Paddy! I'm not interested. I'm a lesbian!"
"But I dont care" paddy replies.
"Look," the lady says to Paddy, "Do you see that tall blonde with the round breasts, and the big red lips down the bar?"
"Yes" Paddy replies.
"Well" the lady says, "I would like to go down to her and give her a big kiss on them big red lips."
To which Paddy replies, more...
What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
MMmmmm, tastes like chicken!