Letter Jokes / Recent Jokes
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife:
"Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"
The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter:
"Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money."
A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife:
"Dear Husband, You wouldn't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden."
The prisoner wrote another letter back:
"Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."
John Blanchard stood up from the bench, straightened his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station. He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn't, the girl with the rose. His interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, but with the notes penciled in the margin. The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind. In the front of the book, he discovered the previous owner's name, Miss Hollis Maynell. With time and effort he located her address. She now lived in New York City. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond. The next day he was shipped overseas for service in World War II. During the next year and one month the two grew to know each other through the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A romance was budding. Blanchard more...
A little boy wanted $100 so badly that he prayed for two weeks. But nothing happened; so he decided to write God a letter asking for the money. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to "GOD, USA", hey decided to send it to President Clinton. Bill was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5 bill.
The little boy was delighted with the $5, and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read; "Dear God, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had it sent through Washington, DC, and as usual, those guys deducted $95."
(name withheld) Minnetonka, MN 55345
Superior Health Insurance ATTN: Claims Review 1423 W. 90th St. New York, NY 05016
Dear Sir:
This letter is in response to your recent letter requesting a more detailed explanation concerning my recent internment at Methodist Hospital. Specifically, you asked for an expansion in reference to Block 21A.(3) of the claim form (reason for hospital visit). On the original form, I put "Stupidity". I realize now that this answer was somewhat vague and so I will attempt to more fully explain the circumstances leading up to my hospitalization.
I had needed to use the restroom and had just finished a quick bite to eat at the local burger joint. I entered the bathroom, took care of my business, and just prior to the moment in which I had planned to raise my trousers, the locked case that prevents theft of the toilet paper in such places came undone and, feeling it striking my knee, unthinkingly, I immediately, and with unnecessary more...