Level Jokes / Recent Jokes

Every sailing ship had to have cannon for protection. Cannon of the times required round iron cannonballs. The master wanted to store the cannonballs such that they could be of instant use when needed, yet not roll around the gun deck.

The solution was to stack them up in a square-based pyramid next to the cannon. The top level of the stack had one ball, the next level down had four, the next had nine, the next had sixteen, and so on. Four levels would provide a stack of 30 cannonballs. The only real problem was how to keep the bottom level from sliding out from under the weight of the higher levels.

To do this, they devised a small brass plate ("brass monkey") with one rounded indentation for each cannonball in the bottom layer. Brass was used because the cannonballs wouldn't rust to the "brass monkey", but would rust to an iron one.

When temperature falls, brass contracts in size faster than iron. As it got cold on the gun decks, more...

Darwin Award Winner for 1997 Announced
You all know about the Darwin Awards - It's an annual honor given to
the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing
themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.
The 1995 winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which
toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out
of it.
In 1996 the winner was an air force sergeant who attached a JATO unit
to his car and crashed into a cliff several hundred feet above the
roadbed.
And now, the 1997 winner: Larry Waters of Los Angeles - one of the few
Darwin winners to survive his award-winning accomplishment. Larry's
boyhood dream was to fly. When he graduated from high school, he
joined the Air Force in hopes of becoming a pilot. Unfortunately, poor
eyesight disqualified him. When he was finally discharged, he had to
satisfy himself with watching jets fly over his backyard.
One day, Larry, more...

"We`ve tripled the amount of money - I believe it`s from $50 million up to $195 million available." -George W. Bush, Lima, Peru, March 23, 2002
"We`ve got pockets of persistent poverty in our society, which I refuse to declare defeat - I mean, I refuse to allow them to continue on. And so one of the things that we`re trying to do is to encourage a faith-based initiative to spread its wings all across America, to be able to capture this great compassionate spirit." -George W. Bush, O`Fallon, Mo., Mar. 18, 2002
"I understand that the unrest in the Middle East creates unrest throughout the region." -George W. Bush, Washington, D. C., March 13, 2002
"There`s nothing more deep than recognizing Israel`s right to exist. That`s the most deep thought of all.. .. I can`t think of anything more deep than that right." -George W. Bush, Washington, D. C., March 13, 2002
"He [Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi] said I want to more...

A fast-track young business executive had been working quite hard and one afternoon developed a splitting headache, sufficiently painful that he decided to take the rest of the afternoon off. He went home, which was an apartment on the 12th floor of a high-rise condominium, and realized upon reaching his door that he had left his keys at the office. He rang the doorbell and with no answer rang it again - and again.
After several minutes his wife opened the door. Her hair was in disarray and she had only her bathrobe on. The young exec was a bit suspicious, so he ran through the apartment looking for someone else. There was no one behind the living room couch, under the bed, in the walk-in closet, or in the bathroom. He ran into the kitchen and found no one in the pantry or under the kitchen table. He then looked over the kitchen balcony, and there, 12 stories below on a patio, was a man slipping on a shirt. Immediately concluding that he had discovered the guilty party, the young more...

One day an Indian, English, and Polish guy all wanted to get blow jobs.
So they decided to go to a place where they could get what they wanted.
When they got in they saw that there were three levels: gold, silver and
bronze.
So the English guy said, "I think I will take the bronze level. The other
two guys sat there for about two minutes when the English guy came out.
He said that was the best blow job he had ever had. The Indian asked him
what she did that was so special.
He said she put ice cream on my dick and licked it all off.
Then the Indian said I think I will take the silver level. Three minutes
later the Indian come out and said that was the best blow job I've ever
had.
The other two guys asked what she did. He said she put ice cream, hot
fudge and caramel on my dick and licked it all off.
The Polish guy was amazed at what she did to the Indian so he decided to
take the gold room.
Five minutes later he came more...