Liberal Jokes / Recent Jokes
According to a Syracuse University professor, liberals are losing their base because 80% of children vote as their parents vote and, "Conservatives have more children than liberals."
He added, "Women hoping to preserve their abortion rights should do so by not exercising them."
The Top 14 Signs You're Married to a Liberal
14. In your wedding vows, "love, honor, and cherish" were replaced with "legitimize, empower, and respect her reproductive freedom."
13. Pile of burned Ken Starr effigies in the back yard is starting to block the sun.
12. Supported Al Gore for President in 2000, but has no idea why.
11. After a poor performance in the bedroom you find
yourself enrolled in a federal program to correct your shortcomings.
10. To rectify years of persecution to women, she makes you wipe your own ass.
9. Misses your funeral to protest the harsh sentence given your killer.
8. You casually mention your "Euthanize the Homeless" idea and -- BANG! -- no sex for a month.
7. What, the family budget is *BALANCED*? Quick, let's get to the mall and buy something!
6. Insists his socks are not mismatched, they're more...
Q: How many Liberal Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. "Well its not really a question of should we change it or should we not change the lightbulb, but more a question of...(blah blah waffle)"
Dick Cheney's gay daughter is pregnant. Democracts have proposed a "Cheney" commerative $3 coin that honors gay mariage on one side and unwed motherhood on the other.
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: That depends on the wage rate.
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
Q: How many Liberal Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. "Well it's not really a question of should we change it or should we not change the lightbulb, but more a question of...(blah blah waffle)"
Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One liberal and twenty eight delegates representing all the social, economic, and ethnic communities.
Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two-one to do it and the other to keep the first one's knee from jerking.
Q: How many more...
Here's the next installment of politically correct TV shows coming up in the fall TV season, complete with ratings supplied by Big Brother (offensive to the politically correct, the differently abled, Bill Clinton and his fans, and liberal apologists):
Thursday night's programs:
"The Simpsons":
For his Eagle Scout community service project, Bart develops a workable plan to convert Springfield's nuclear power plant into a solar facility.
Guest voice: Vice President Al Gore.
Ratings: S/MU, WW, RPSE.
"American Playhouse: Young Mr. Clinton":
In a performance entitled "Doobie-ous Battle", while protesting the Vietnam War in England, Bill smokes marijuana without inhaling. Part 12 of 15.
Next week: "To Russia with Love."
Ratings: S/MU, ISS, PCMM.
"L.A. Law":
Douglas finally signs on to a plan to turn McKenzie-Brackman into a non-profit legal defense clinic. Stuart realizes the political more...