Conservative Jokes

A liberal came upon a genie and said, "You're a genie. Can you grant me three wishes?" The genie replied, "Yes, but only if you're feeling generous enough to share your good fortune." The liberal said, "I'm a liberal. I'm always happy to share." The genie said, "O.K., then, whatever you wish for, I'll give every conservative in the country two of it. What's your first wish?" "I would like a new sports car." "O.K., you've got it, and every conservative in the country gets two sports cars. What's your second wish?" "I'd like a million dollars." "O.K., you get a million dollars, every conservative gets two million dollars. What's your third and final wish?" "Well, I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."

This week Australia legalized the cloning of human embryos for stem cell research that lifted a four-year-old ban on the procedure. The legislation passed in the House, even though the Conservative Prime Minister and other major party leaders voted against it. Conservative opponents in the US said the bill promoted unproven science that did not respect the human rights of the unborn.

Excuse me...did you say respect?
Rush Limbaugh could not be reached for comment.

Rush Limbaugh will not be prosecuted for having someone else's prescription of Viagra at an airport. Limbaugh's lawyer, however, said that Rush actually had hoped for the stiffest sentence possible.

Plaxico convicted on weapons charges
Michael Vick convicted on dog fighting charges
PacMan convicted on felony assault
- - -the NFL states Rush Limbaugh isn't someone they want to be associated with (?!?!?!?!? )..... meanwhile Charlie Manson and Phil Spector are interested buyers
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Q: What is a conservative? A: A liberal whos been mugged.