Limbaugh Jokes

One day, Bill Clinton, Rush Limbaugh and Al Gore decided to walk to the Wizard of Oz's castle in Emerald City. When they got there, the Wizard asked them what they wanted the most. Limbaugh asked for a heart, Gore asked for a brain, and Clinton asked for Dorothy.

Twas the night before Christmas and throughout the White House,
Al Gore was eyeing Hillary, peering into her blouse.
The Secret Service were guarding the premises with care,
for a whole host of Democrats were vacationing there.
As Chelsea was nestled all snug in her bed,
dirty thoughts swam around Mr. Kennedy's head.
And Bill in his sportcoat; a heavy gray tweed,
had just fried his brain with some Mexican weed.
When out in the garden came a plethora of noise,
all drunken and rowdy: 'twas Newt and the boys!
Bill jumped to the window, and tore open the sash,
"It's a raid boys!" he cried, "Quick, go hide my stash!"
The pot in his blood and the moon on the snow,
gave a psychedelic haze to the objects below.
When what to Bill's frantic eyes should appear, but a slew
of Republicans and a keg of ice beer.
With a big House leader, all lively and fat:
He knew it was Newt, the proponent of GATT!
As more...

Rush Limbaugh will not be prosecuted for having someone else's prescription of Viagra at an airport. Limbaugh's lawyer, however, said that Rush actually had hoped for the stiffest sentence possible.

Rush Limbaugh and his chauffeur were out driving in the country and accidentally hit and killed a pig that had wandered out on a country road.Limbaugh told the chauffeur to drive up to the farm and apologize to the farmer. They drove up to the farm, the chauffeur got out and knocked on the front door and was let in. He was in there for what seemed hours. When he came out, Limbaugh was confused about why his employee had been there so long."Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife brought me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses," explained the driver."What did you tell the farmer?" Limbaugh asked.The chauffeur replied, "I told him that I was Rush Limbaugh's driver and I'd just killed the pig.

Rush Limbaugh is in talks to purchase the Rams, because Limbaugh has plenty of experience showing blind allegiance to a failed franchise. Actually, Limbaugh is buying the Rams because the St. Louis arch reminds him of McDonald's.