Library Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee and, after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available.He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eon or so learning the languages. After becoming a linguistics master, he sits down in the library and begins to pore over every version of the Bible, working back from the most recent "Easy Reading" to the original script.All of a sudden there is a scream in the library. The angels come running to him, only to find the Pope huddled in a chair, crying to himself, and muttering, "An 'R'! They left out the 'R'".God takes him aside, offering comfort and asks him what the problem is. After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, "It's the letter 'R'... the word was supposed to be CELEBRATE"

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour he is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad of recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, so he spends the next eon or so learning languages. After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pour over every version of the Bible, working back from most recent "Easy Reading" to the original script. All of a sudden there is a scream in the library. The Angels come running in only to find the Pope huddled in his chair, crying to himself and muttering, "An 'R'! The scribes left out the 'R'." A particularly concerned Angel takes him aside, offering comfort, asks him what the problem is and what does he mean. After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, "It's the letter 'R'. They left out the 'R'. The word was supposed to be celebRate!"

Once Student leaders of all universities ( they call it ANTHER VISHWA VIDYALA SHISHYA BALAMANDALAYA) organized a meeting at the Public library auditorium, at Town hall. I went to the library on the same day for something else and saw this.
For my curiosity I went inside. Within minutes Cops came and surrounded the building. I was blaming to my self, but nothing to do wait inside. So one cop came inside, checking the IDs and its goes like this..
Which university are you from? Some said Peradeniya.. He said you all can go. Agin he said, Which university are you from?? They said Moratuwa. He said go; And some said, Colombo, he said, Go.., Kelaniya, he Said Go. So students mention all da universities in the country and he said go!
I got so curious Talked to da cop "Ralami are you looking for a particular university?" He said Yes I'm looking for a students from INTER UNIVERSITY ( ANTHER WISHA VIDYALAYA) They are the ones who does all theses things.
I said more...

A blonde goes into a library and cheerfully says, "Hi! I'm here to see the doctor!"
In a stern, but hushed voice, the librarian says, "Miss, this is a library."
So the blonde lowers her voice and says, "Oh sorry!" Then whispers, "I'm here to see the doctor."

A priest dies and goes to heaven. There, he is met by a reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available.

He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eon or so learning the languages. After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pore over every version of the Bible, working back from the most recent "Easy Reading Version" to the original script.

All of a sudden there is a scream in the library. The angels come running to him, only to find the priest huddled in a chair, crying to himself, and muttering, "An "R"! They left out the' R'."

God takes him aside, offering comfort and asks him what the problem is. After collecting his wits, the priest sobs again, "It's the letter "R". .. the word was supposed to be CELEBRATE!"

A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read!" "It has NO plot and far too many characters!" The librarian looks up and calmly remarks - "So, you're the one who took our phone book..."

A blonde goes into a library and cheerfully says, “Hi! I’m here to see the doctor! ”
In a stern, but hushed voice, the librarian says, “Miss, this is a library. ”
So the blonde lowers her voice and says, “Oh sorry! ” Then whispers, “I’m here to see the doctor. ”