Library Jokes / Recent Jokes
A friend of mine told me this one the other day...
A librarian is working away at her desk when she notices that a chicken has
come into the library and is patiently waiting in front of the desk. When
the chicken sees that it has the librarian's attention, it squawks, "Book,
book, book, BOOK!"
The librarian complies, putting a couple of books down in front of the
chicken. The chicken quickly grabs them and disappears.
The next day, the librarian is again disturbed by the same chicken, who puts
the previous day's pile of books down on the desk and again squawks, "Book,
book, book, BOOK!"
The librarian shakes her head, wondering what the chicken is doing with these
books, but eventually finds some more books for the chicken. The chicken
disappears.
The next day, the librarian is once again disturbed by the chicken, who
squawks (in a rather irritated fashion, it seems), "Book, book, book, BOOK!"
By more...
15> Entire library stock replaced by 50,000 copies of "Yes, I Can" by Sammy Davis, Jr.
14> Half-dozen recently-extracted tongues stapled to the "Quiet Please" sign.
13> Recommends Kato Kaelin's book.
12> Instead of scanning barcode on book at checkout, seductively licks the inside cover.
11> Library only has two sections: "Limbaugh" and "Liddy."
10> Inserts boudoir photos of herself in copies of Gray's Anatomy.
9> When you ask for an appendix, she winks suggestively and shows you her scar.
8> Replaces the overdue book fine with canings from the "Rod of Literary Tardiness".
7> Files Art Buchwald under "Humor"
6> Always doing donuts with the bookmobile in the video store parking lot.
5> No matter what book you ask for, she hands you a piece of toast and a Q-tip.
4> Uses the "Dewer's Decimal System", more...
Q: What happened to the Polish National Library?
A: Someone stole the book.
Q: What happened to the Polish National Library? A: Someone stole the book.
A blonde goes into a library and says, "Hello. I'm here to see the doctor." The librarian replies, "This is a library." So the blonde lowers her voice and says, "Oh sorry!" Then whispers, "I'm here to see the doctor."
A man in Hancock, Michigan was going through boxes in his attic yesterday, and discovered a library book that he checked out on June 2, 1960.
Robert Nuranen promptly returned "Prince of Egypt" to his local library, and when faced with a 47-year-old late fee, asked if they could break a twenty.
It was Rockys first night in the penitentiary. All of the inmates were intheir cells and he was trying to become a bit more comfortable with hismeager surroundings. As he leaned against the bars at the front of hiscell, Rocky heard a voice call out "44" and the whole cell block eruptedinto laughter! Another voice called "16" and again there was laughter. Athird voice called "62" which was followed by laughter throughout the block. Rocky didnt know what was going on so he rapped on his cell wall."Yeah, whaddaya want?" came the gruff reply from next door."Whats going on, here?" asked Rocky."Well," said the other inmate, "down in the prison library theres only onejoke book. Weve all read the book so many times that we dont waste timetelling the joke, we just call out its number."So the next day Rocky went down to the library and, sure enough, found r theyellowed, dog-eared joke book and read it from cover to cover. more...