Light Bulb Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.
Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Four, one to change it and the other three to deny it.
Q: How many MP's does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to form a fact-finding committee to learn more about how it's done.
Q: How many Tory MP's does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I'm sorry I can't tell you that, the light bulb changing service has been privatised and the information you require is commercially sensitive.
Q: How many Thatcherites does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. It's up to the private sector to provide the finance for it.
Q: How many John Majors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to not do anything about it and one to try and blame the failure of the old bulb on the Labour more...
Q: How many people at a chess tournament does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Nine. One to complain about the lighting levels, one to say he thinks the lighting is OK, one to suggest someone calls the arbiter, one to go and call the arbiter, one to reminisce about lighting levels at the 1947 tournament at Hastings, one to complain about the disturbance the others are causing, both arbiters, and one to say he thought the lighting was better before they changed the lightbulb.
Q: How many people at a chess tournament does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Here is the current state of research... You need one to complain about the lighting. A second will say he thinks the light is fine. A third suggests the tournament director be called, and number four fetches him. An aged player (5) reminisces about the lighting levels at Nottingham 1936. The director (6) can't be found, but his deputy (7) arrives. Player eight says that if they increase the lighting levels it more...
Q: How many alien life forms does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Yeah, wouldn't the guys at SETI like to know *that*!
Note: SETI = Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence.
Q: Why did the lightbulb fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was doing an impersonation of the sun, setting.
Q: Why did the lightbulb fall out of the tree?
A: Because Christmas tree decorations are always cheap and nasty.
Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a dyslexic?
A: One. It isn't too easy.
Q: How many dyslexics does it take to bulb a light change?
A: 10, one to change the light bulb and 9 to misread the manual.
Q: How many dyslexics does it take to bulb a light change?
A: Eno.
Q: How does an engineer change a lightbulb?
A: As long as lighting levels are within operational parameters, he doesn't!
Q: How many chess grandmasters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: more...
Q: How many chess grandmasters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 21. One to have the idea, and a whole load more to do all the analysis.
Q: How many people does it take to change a lightbulb for Bobby Fischer?
A: Two. One person to put the new one in, and another person to file three millimetres off it first.
Q: How many scrabble players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't actually know, but it's on a triple word score anyway.
Q: How many Tauruses does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: Tauruses don't like to change anything.
Q: How many Tauruses does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. But only if they can celebrate afterwards with a ten course meal and some great sex.
Q: How many Tauruses does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but just *try* to convince them that the burnt out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.
Q: How many Cancerians does it take to more...
Q: How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: Cancerians would worry themselves to death with the problem.
Q: How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Leos don't change lightbulbs, although sometimes their agents get a Virgo in to do it for them while they're out.
Q: How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: Leos are so enthusiastic they carry their own light.
Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Look, ask me when I get back from India, okay?
Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out light bulb?
Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: A whole bunch: I can only keep them in the room long enough for them to give the bulb a quarter turn a more...
Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: Why should I bother? It's probably just going to burn out again tomorrow anyway.
Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy so...
Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: A hundred, but they'll all be competing to be the one to change the bulb and bring light to the world.
Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Like, why don't you just get out of my face and stop asking me to do all your work for you? I'm, like, really totally sick and tired of you asking me questions.
Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Huh? The light's out?
Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: What lightbulb?
Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: They concern more...
Q: How many radio astronomers does it take to change a light bulb.
A: None. They are not interested in that short wave stuff.
Q: How many NASA technicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Seventy, and they plan it for two weeks and when they finally get around to it the weather's bad so they postpone it till next week. The lightbulb costs three million dollars.
Q: How many Pentagon procurement officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Look, for only $87 billion, we can put up this chain of fluorescent satellites that will illuminate the whole planet.
Q: How many senior citizens does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but she pays a telemarketer $2000 for the new bulb.
Q: How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes eight million years.
Q: How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: There's no evidence that the change is due more...