Lima Jokes / Recent Jokes
A short story...
In Ohio, an unidentified man in his late twenties walked into a police station with a 9-inch wire protruding from his forehead and calmly asked officers to give him an X-ray to help him find his brain, which he claimed had been stolen. Police were shocked to learn that the man had drilled a 6-inch deep hole in his skull with a Black Decker power drill and had stuck the wire in to try and find the missing brain.
Dumb Ohio Laws
# In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker`s stand, you can be fined $25. 00.
# Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
# It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
# It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
# The Ohio driver`s education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car.
# Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited.
# Breast feeding more...
It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday. It is illegal to get a fish drunk. It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house. Owners of tigers must notify authorities within one hour if the tiger escapes. No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July. In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker's stand, you can be fined $25.00. Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited. Bay Village: It is illegal to walk a cow down Lake Road. Bexley: The installation and usage of slot machines in outhouses is prohibited. Clinton County: Any person who leans against a public building will be subject to fines. Cleveland: It's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license! Women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, lest men see reflections of their underwear. Columbus: It is illegal for stores to sell corn flakes on Sunday. Fairview Park: It's against the more...
Knock Knock
Who's there!
Lima Bean!
Lima Bean who?
Lima Bean working on the railroad....!
A sophisticated city lady and a country bumpkin both ended up in a conversation at the same social function. At one point the country woman asked, "Wow, what's that smell?" The city woman replied, "It's Evening in Paris... $189. 00 an ounce." A few moments later the city woman exclaimed, "Wow, what's that smell?" The country woman replied, "Lima beans... $1. 89 a can!"