Lipstick Jokes / Recent Jokes
According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that there had to be something done about it.She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She then explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors.He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then used it to clean the mirror. Needless to say, there have been no lip prints on the mirror since!
What Men Want
More beer. More cheese. More sex.
Vitamin fortified cigars.
Public beer fountains.
Kitty catapults.
All day happy hour at a lesbian Hooters.
Wet T-shirt Fridays.
Replace NFL linebackers with genetically bred velociraptors.
Rocket boots.
Machine gun camp.
NASA space shuttle races.
Sledgehammer boxing.
Girlfriend TiVO so you can pause, rewind, and delete arguments.
Congressional pie fights.
Government research grants to build the perfect chicken parmesan hero.
More beer. More cheese. More sex.
Tomahawk missile surf boards.
Hot tub jury boxes.
Nacho cheese lipstick.
Personal midget-ninja chauffeurs.
New TV shows: PBS' The BBQ Hour, Total Kung-Fu Live, and America's Funniest Farts.
24-hour, on call UN negotiator for when you stumble home late, drunk, with lipstick stains on your collar.
More beer. More cheese. More sex.
Condoms that whistle, whir, and honk when used.
Inflatable more...
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The principal of a local town's middle school was having problems with the condition of the girls' bathroom. The girls were leaving lipstick kisses all over the bathroom mirrors. Warnings to cease this activity were announced daily over the loudspeaker to no avail.
One day the principal gathered all of the suspected girls in the bathroom and introduced them to the janitor, Mr. Jones. Asking them again to stop this activity. He emphasized how hard it was for Mr. Jones to clean the mess, and then asked Mr. Jones to demonstrate how hard it was to clean the lipstick off of the mirror.
Mr. Jones stepped forward, withdrew a long handled brush dipped it into the toilet bowl and proceeded to clean the mirrors. The principal is happy to announce that there are no more problems with lipstick on the mirrors.
Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?