Listens Jokes / Recent Jokes

Married life is full of excitement and frustration: * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener. Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married! There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it. Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife more...

Commandment 1 Marriages are made in heaven. But, so are thunder and lightning. Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep. Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand! Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the
man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is. Commandment 6.

Married life is full of excitement and frustration:* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener. Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married! There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it. Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife more...

In the first year of marriage, the husband talks and the wife listens. In the second year of marriage, the wife talks and the husband listens. In the 3rd year of marriage both of them talk and the neighbours listen.

(This joke should be understood in the spirit that X'tian marriages in our part of the world are almost always arranged, divorces are rare & socially stigmatic. So spouses are tolerant)
On the day I got married, my uncle gave me his piece of personal wisdom.
He said: In the first year, the wife is obedient. She listens to whatever you say. So enjoy yourself.
In the second year, the role changes & the husband listens to his wife. So it's her time to enjoy.
In the third & succeeding years, there are no more such roles. So the neighbors listen to what you shout at each other. And they enjoy.

In the first year, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.