Loan Jokes / Recent Jokes

A frog walks into a bank and says “I wanna loan. ”
“Well Mr.. frog, go over there to Mrs. Black’s desk, she is the loan manager, I’m sure she will be happy to talk to you, ” The head desk says.
The frog hops over to Mrs. Patty Black’s desk and says, “I wanna loan. ”
Mrs. Black says, “Well Mr. Frog, we will have to get some paperwork for you to sign, so if you will wait right here…” At this point the frog pulls out of his knapsack a golden disk and hands it over to her.
She asks, confused, “What is this? ”
The frog croaks back, “I wanna loan. ” She rubs her head, and walks back to her boss and says, “I don’t get it, a frog hops in here wanting a loan, and gives me this golden disk. Do you know what it is? ”
The boss laughs and says, “It’s a knick-knack Patty Black, give the frog a loan! ”

The loan
Issy walks into a central London bank and says he`s going to America for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000.
For collateral, he offers his new Rolls Royce. The bank is satisfied and parks it in their secured underground garage.
Two weeks later to the day, Issy returns to the bank and repays the £5,000 plus interest of £9.41
The loan officer says inquiringly, "Sir, we were delighted to have your business but checking your credit, we learned you are a multimillionaire. Why ever did you need to borrow £5,000?"
"Where else in central London could I park my car for two weeks for £9.41

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30, 000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30, 000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She
holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is more...

Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and Sam says to Becky (imagine a Yiddish accent), "So, Becky, I was wondering... have you ever cheated on me?"
Becky replies, "Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."
"Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please..."
"Well, all right, three times..."
"Three, hmmm, well when were they?"
"Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan... remember? Then one day the bank president himself came over the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked...? Well..."
"Oh, Becky, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever to do such a thing for me... So when was number two?"
"Well, Sam, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no more...

A frog walks into a bank and says "I wanna loan."

"Well Mr.. frog, go over there to Mrs. Black's desk, she is the loan manager, I'm sure she will be happy to talk to you," The head desk says.

The frog hops over to Mrs. Patty Black's desk and says, "I wanna loan."

Mrs. Black says, "Well Mr. Frog, we will have to get some paperwork for you to sign, so if you will wait right here..." At this point the frog pulls out of his knapsack a golden disk and hands it over to her.

She asks, confused, "What is this?"

The frog croaks back, "I wanna loan." She rubs her head, and walks back to her boss and says, "I don't get it, a frog hops in here wanting a loan, and gives me this golden disk. Do you know what it is?"

The boss laughs and says, "It's a knick-knack Patty Black, give the frog a loan!"

A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the woman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls Royce into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the woman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer approaches her.
''We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you were a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?''
''Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?''

Not all banks are as solvent as we imagine them to be. I went into mine the other day and told the loan officer I was interested in a loan.
He smiled and replied, "That's great Mr. Moore! How much can you let us have?"