Loan Jokes / Recent Jokes
An old Native American wanted a loan for $500. He approached his local banker. The banker pulled out the loan application, asking, "What are you going to do with the money?"
"Take jewelry to city and sell it," said the old man.
"What have you got for collateral?" queried the banker, going strictly by the book.
"Don't know of collateral."
"Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of the loan. Have you got any vehicles?"
"Yes, I have a 1949 Chevy pickup."
The banker shook his head, "How about livestock?"
"Yes, I have a horse."
"How old is it?"
"I don't know; it has no teeth."
Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan.
Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here's the money to pay loan," he said, handing the entire amount including interest.
"What are you more...
An Indian man walked into a bank in New York City and asks for a loan. He told the loan officer that he is going to India on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5, 000.
The bank officer told him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan. So the Indian man handed over the keys of his new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produceed the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreeed to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Indian for using a $250, 000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5, 000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drew the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parked it there.
Two weeks later, the Indian returned, repayed the $5, 000 and the interest, which comes to $15. 41.
The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy
to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we more...
Teacher: Tumhare papa 500 rupees loan lete hai. 10% interest ke hisab se woh 1 saal baad loan vapis karte hai. Batao kitne paise vapis karenge?
Bania’s son: Kuch bhi nahi.
Teacher: Tum maths nahi jante.
Banis’s son: Main toh maths janta hoon, par aap mere papa ko nahi jante.
A frog came into a bank to obtain a loan. He spoke to the loan officer Mr. Paddywack. When Mr. Paddywack asked the frog what he had for loan collateral, the frog held out his hand. "Whats that?" asked Mr. Paddywack, but the frog could not talk. So, Mr. Paddywack took the frog in to see the manager and explained the situation. The manager then asked the frog what collateral he had for the loan and the frog held out his hand. "Oh," said the manager, "thats a knickknack Paddywack, give the frog a loan."
A maadu named Hariharan lived in New York city. Once he went to a bank to request a loan of $5000 as he was about to leave for a business trip to Europe. The bank agreed for the loan but asked for a guarantee. The maadu immediately handed the bank manager the keys to his brand new rolls royce that was parked downstairs. The bank people agreed and parked the rolls royce in their parking lot. The maadu took the $5000 and went to Europe. He returned after a week. The bank asked him $12.50 interest on the loan. The maadu payed the amount and the interest and was about to leave before the bank manager stopped him for a minute. The manager told the maadu that he was pleased to do business with the maadu but he also told that, 'sir, we checked your accounts and we came to know that you are a millionaire, then why did you borrow just $5000 from us?' the maadu replied,' it's not the $5000 that matter, what matters is that I couldn't have found a parking for my car in $12.50 for 1 week.'
A frog came into a bank to obtain a loan. He spoke to the loan officer Mr. Paddywack. When Mr. Paddywack asked the frog what he had for loan collateral, the frog held out his hand. "What's that?" asked Mr. Paddywack, but the frog could not talk. So, Mr. Paddywack took the frog in to see the manager and explained the situation. The manager then asked the frog what collateral he had for the loan and the frog held out his hand. "Oh," said the manager, "that's a knickknack Paddywack, give the frog a loan."
If you need a loan, who do you see in the bank? The Loan Arranger (Lone Ranger).