Loan Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Johnny was being questioned by the teacher during an arithmetic lesson.' If you had ten dollars,' said the teacher,' and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?''Ten,' said Little Johnny firmly.'Ten?' the teacher said' How do you make it ten?''Well,' replied Little Johnny' You may ask for a loan of eight dollars, but that doesn't mean you'll get it!'

There once was a little frog who wanted to take out a home improvement loan to fix up his pad. He hopped over to his local bank, went up to the teller and said, "Hi, I'd like to take out a loan to fix up my pad."
The teller replied, "You need to see our loan officer. Her name is "Patricia Black."
So the frog hops over to the loan officer's desk and sits down. When Patricia arrives she ask, "What can I do for you?"
The frog says, "I'd like to take out a loan to fix up my pad."
Patricia asked, "What do you have for Collateral?"
After thinking for a couple of moments about what he could offer the frog reaches into his little foggy pocket and pulls out a small white elephant.
"This is a very unusual form of collateral." said Patricia.
"I'll have to check with out bank president to see if it's ok."
Patricia goes to the president and says, "There's a frog out there who want's a more...

One day a frog went to the teller at the bank. The frog noticed that the nametag on the teller's shirt red "Pat Whack". The teller asks who he is. The frog says he is McJaggert's son. The frog said he like to take out a $10,000 loan. She replied, "that is alot of money, what have you got for collateral? The frog handed her a little plastic pig. Pat whack asks the frog what is. The frog said, "I dont know". Pat Whack goes to talk to her manager. Pat Whack said to her manager a frog wants to take out a loan for $10,000 and use this as collateral. What is this? Her manager replies its a nic-nac patty whack give the frog a loan, his old man's a rolling stone!

A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan. The business man then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there. Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41. The loan officer said, 'We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?' The business man replied: 'Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks for 15 bucks?'

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000.

The bank officers says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, parked on the street, in front of the bank.

Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5000, and the interest, which is $15.41.

The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5000?"

The blonde replied, "Where else in more...

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. So he says,' 'Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a holiday.''

Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks him how much he wants to borrow. The frog says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says it's Kermit Jagger and that it's ok, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he would need to secure some collateral against the loan and asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says' 'Sure, I have this'' and produces a tiny pink elephant, about half an inch tall. Bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says:' 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow 30 more...

There was a man, called Paddywhack, who worked in a very prestigious bank. One day a frog came in asking for a car loan. So he gave the frog the loan application papers. As the frog was filling them out, Paddywhack was looking over his shoulder. In the space for 'Father' the frog wrote in 'Mick Jagger'. Paddywhack said nothing. Then he asked the frog if he had enough money for a deposit. The frog said he didn't but produced a strange looking colourful glass sculpture that he said was worth a whole heap of money. Paddywhack said he'd have to talk to his boss about this, so he took the forms and the glass sculpture into his boss' office. He told his boss about the papers and asked him if he knew what the sculpture was. To which his boss replied,
"It's a nic nac Paddywhack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!"