Loan Jokes / Recent Jokes

Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $6,000. The loan officer was quite taken a back, and requested collateral. "Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce", the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safekeeping, and gave him 6,000. Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. The loan officer checked the records and told him, "That will be $6,000 in principal, and $18.40 in interest." The man wrote out a check, thanked the loan officer, and started to walk away. "Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow? The man smiled. "Where else could I securely park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for t wo weeks and pay only $18.40?"

An old Native American wanted a loan for $500. He approached his local banker. The banker pulled out the loan application, asking, “What are you going to do with the money? ”

“Take jewelry to city and sell it, ” said the old man.

“What have you got for collateral? ” queried the banker, going strictly by the book.

“Don’t know of collateral. ”

“Well that’s something of value that would cover the cost of the loan. Have you got any vehicles? ”

“Yes, I have a 1949 Chevy pickup. ”

The banker shook his head, “How about livestock? ”
“Yes, I have a horse. ”

“How old is it? ”

“I don’t know; it has no teeth. ”

Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan.

Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, “Here’s the money to pay loan, ” he said, handing the entire amount including more...

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA (Federal Housing Administration) loan for a client. He was told that the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to FHA, he received the following reply:
"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have cleared the Title to the proposed collateral property only back to the year 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
"Your letter regarding Titles in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have Titles more...

A frog walks into a bank and asks the teller, "Who do I talk to about getting a loan?" The teller shows him to the office of the loans manager, Ms. Patricia Black."I would like a loan for $20.00 to buy a new lily pad," the frog tells her."Do you have any collateral?" asks Ms. Black.The frog produces a small statuette of the Eiffel Tower with the inscription "Souvenir of Paris" engraved on the base. Unsure whether or not the object is worth the amount of the loan, she summons the bank manager.The manager inspects the trinket, nods his head, and says, "It's a knick-knack, Patty Black - give the frog a loan."

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA (Federal Housing Administration) loan for a client. He was told that the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a
parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated
back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.After sending the information to FHA, he received the following reply: “Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you
prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared the Title to the proposed collateral property back to the year 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.”Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
“Your letter regarding Titles in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have Titles more...

This one older lady, not quite up on the ins and outs of banks, was surprised to receive a notice demanding payment on her loan.
She called the loan officer & said, "I can't return your money. I'm not finished with it yet."

This one older lady, not quite up on the ins and outs of banks, was surprised to receive a notice demanding payment on her loan.
She called the loan officer & said, "I can't return your money. I'm not finished with it yet."