Locker Jokes / Recent Jokes
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial...
Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.
Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.
Q. WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this then officer, do you have a locker room in the police station. .. a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.
Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.
Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.
Q. Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with more...
In the Ohio State Buckeyes locker room in Columbus, there's a sign stating - "Play like champions today!"
There's also one in the Michigan Wolverines locker room that says:
"Don't forget your HELMET!"
In the Ohio State Buckeyes locker room in Columbus, there's a sign stating - "Play like champions today!"
There's also one in the Michigan Wolverines locker room that says: "Don't forget your HELMET!"
A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I`m not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?"The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "4?""Did you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right.At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
In the Ohio State Buckeyes locker room in Columbus, there's a sign stating - "Play like champions today!"There's also one in the Michigan Wolverines locker room that says:"Don't forget your HELMET!"
A couple gets married and the wife puts a foot locker in the bedroom. She locks it, then puts the only key on a chain around her neck. For fifty years, her husband tries to figure out what's in there, but she always changes the subject, and avoids the issue. Finally, on the night of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, he says to her, "I've got to know what's in the trunk!" She takes the key, unlocks the foot locker, and inside there's two ears of corn and $25, 000. The guy says, "What's with the two ears of corn?" She says, "Well, umm, in the fifty years, every time I broke our marriage vows, I put an ear of corn in the trunk." The guy figures, "Twice in fifty years, not so bad..." Then he says, "And what's the $25, 000?" She says, "Well, everytime I got a bushel, I sold it."
A man is showering up in a locker room with his buddy when he notices his friend has a huge penis.
"Damn Bob, you're hung!" Jim exclaims.
"I wasn't always this impressive, I had to work for it."
"What do you mean?" Jim asked.
"Well, every day for the past two years I've spent an hour each night rubbing it with butter. I know it sounds crazy but it actually made it grow 4 inches! You should try it."
Jim agrees and the two say good bye.
A few weeks later the two are in the same locker room and Bob asks Jim how his situation was.
Jim replied, "I did what you said but my penis has actually gotten smaller! I lost two inches already!"
"Did you do everything I told you? An hour each day with butter?"
"Well, butter is expensive, so I've been using Crisco."
"Crisco?" Bob exclaimed, "No wonder, man, Crisco's shortening!"