Lone Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Lone Ranger and Tonto stop at a bar for a beer and while they're drinking a cowboy walks in and says, "Who's white horse is that parked outside?" The Lone Ranger raises his hand and says, "That's mine. Am I blocking you?" The cowboy says, "No but you might want to check it, looks like it's running hot." Sure enough they go look out the door and the horse has broken out into one of those typical soap shavings sweats that horses are known for. Tonto says, "I'll take care of it boss." He rushes out and starts wiping the horse down and doing a rain dance around it while the Lone Ranger goes back inside. Another minute passes and another cowboy walks in and says, "Who's white horse is that parked outside?" The Lone Ranger once again raises his hand and says, "That's mine." The cowboy says, "You may want to check it, looks like you left your injun running."

At the site, one lone survivor sat with his back against a tree, chewing on a bone. As
he tossed the bone onto a huge pile of there bones, he noticed the rescue team.
"Thank God", he cried out in relief. "I am saved!"
The rescue team did not move, as they were in shock, seeing the pile of human bones
beside this lone survivor. Obviously he had eaten his comrades.
The Survivor saw the horror in their faces and hung his own head in shame. "You
can't judge me for this," he insisted. "I had to survive. Is it so wrong to want to live?"
The leader of the rescue team stepped forward, shaking his head in disbelief. "I won't
judge you for doing what was necessary to survive, but my God man, your plane only
went down yesterday!"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer.
After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said,
"Who owns the big white horse outside?"
The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, "I do. Why?"
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside!"
The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and, sure enough, Silver was about dead from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got him some water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.
The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better."
Tonto said, "Sure Kemosabe", and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink.
A more...

A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture.
Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of sex education from the class. One little boy raises his hand, "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs.""Very good, William," cooed the teacher. "My mommy had a baby," said little Esther. "Oh, that's nice," replied the teacher. Finally, little Johnny raises his hand. With much fear and trepidation the teacher calls on him. "I was watchin' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians.
And they all attacked at one time. And he killed every one of them with his two guns." The teacher was relieved but puzzled, "And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny?" "It'll more...

The Lone Ranger and Tonto ride into town one dusty, dry, Wild West day and proceed to the first saloon, where they tie up their trusty steeds and head in for a snort.
After a while a stranger walks into the bar and asks, ‘who owns the white horse tied up outside? ’
The Lone Ranger said, ‘Why, that would be mine. Why do you ask? ’
‘Because it? collapsed and looks like it’s dying, ’ says the stranger.
So the Lone Ranger and Tonto head out to check on Silver.
‘He’s probably just suffering from the heat, ’ says the Lone Ranger, who asks Tonto if he could run around Silver for a while to help keep him cool.
The Lone Ranger returns to the bar and after half an hour another stranger walks in and asks, ‘who owns the white horse outside? ’
The Lone Ranger says, ‘That’s mine, what’s the problem this time? ’
‘Oh, no problem, ’ says the stranger, ‘it’s just that you’ve left your injun running. ’

A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo.
But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture.
Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of sex education from the class. One little boy raises his hand "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs."
"Very good, William," cooed the teacher.
"My mommy had a baby," said little Esther.
"Oh, that's nice," replied the teacher.
Finally, Little Johnny raises his hand.
With much fear and trepidation, the teacher calls on him.
"I was watchin' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger... He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians... and they all attacked at one time... and he killed every one of them with his two guns." The teacher was relieved but puzzled "And what does that have to do with sex education, more...

Who is the Lone Aardvark's faithful Indian companion? Tanto