Lose Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man named Dave finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bankrupt and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he turns to God for help and begins to pray... "Please help me, God. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money soon, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."
Lotto night comes and he doesn't win.
Again, he prays... "God, please let me win the lotto. I've already lost my business, my house, and now I'm going to lose my car too."
Lotto night comes and still he has no luck.
Once again, he prays... "Dear Lord, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house and my car. My family is starving. I don't ask you for help often and I've always been a good servant to you. PLEASE, just let me win the lotto this one time so I will be able to get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Dave is confronted by the more...
santa singh finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray.
"Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto". Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.
The Sardarji goes back to the synagogue. "Bhagwan, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well". Lotto night comes and the Sardarji still has no luck!!
Back to the temple... "My Bhagwan, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???".
Suddenly there is a blinding more...
According to research presented Monday, new mothers who want to lose the extra weight they gained in pregnancy should try to get more sleep.
For those who stay asleep long enough, the baby loses weight, too.
An extremely obese man shows up at his doctor's office and claims that he's tried every possible way to lose weight, to no avail. So the doctor proposes a radical diet: rectal feeding. Reassuring the fattie that he won't starve to death, the doctor explains that he can actually take in enough nutrients through the rectal walls to sustain life, but that he's sure to lose weight in the process.
Three weeks later the patient comes in for a follow-up appointment, and he's down from 360 to a trim 175 pounds. The doctor shows him into his office and asks him how he's feeling, noticing that he's bouncing up and down in his seat quite energetically. "I'm feeling great, doc; never felt better" is the reply.
"In that case, why are you bouncing up and down like that?" asked the doctor.
"Just chewing some gum!"
A fireman looked out of the firehouse window and noticed a little boy playing on the sidewalk. The boy had his little red wagon. He had hung small ladders on the side of it, and coiled the garden hose up in it, and he was wearing a fireman's hat.
He had the wagon tied to his dog, so that the dog could pull the wagon.
The fireman thought this was really cute, so he went out and told the little boy what a great looking fire truck he had. As he did, he noticed that the dog was tied to the wagon by his testicles.
The fireman said, "Son, I don't want to try to tell you how to run your fire company, but I think if you would tie that rope around the dog's neck you would go faster."
"Maybe so," said the little boy, "But then I'd lose my siren."
Santa Singh wanted to lose weight desperately and so he consulted a doctor. The doctor told him that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would lose 34 kilos.
Santa followed the doctors advice and at the end of 300 days, he called the doctor to report that he had actually lost the weight, but had a problem. Whats the problem, asked the doctor?
I am 2400 kilometers away from home