Lottery Jokes / Recent Jokes

Are You A Steamer?
Steamer - A person, normally female and also normally of 45+ years, who refusing to accept her age makes desperate attempts to appear 20+ years younger.
Take this questionnaire to find out if you are a steamer:
Your wardrobe consists mainly of:
tailored suits and silk blouses - you spend most of your time at the office
sweats, jeans and t-shirts - designed for your active lifestyle
spandex pants in neon colors, halter tops and mini-skirts which you share with your 14 year-old daughter.
Your hair is:
exquisitely highlighted by one of the finer salons in your city
your natural color
the palest white blonde you can get from a bottle.
Your favourite place to buy clothing:
Saks, Holt-Renforth - only the finest quality will do
K-Mart, Walmart - you'd rather spend your hard-earned money on more important things
Contempo Casual, Suzies or wherever it is your teenaged daughter and her friends shop.
Your complexion more...

My karma ran over your dogma.
I brake for... wait... AAAH! NO BRAKES!!!!!
A fool and his money are a girl's best friend.
I'm not driving fast-just flying low.
Help starve a feeding bureaucrat.
My other vehicle is a Romulan Warbird!
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
"I is a college student."
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
Gravity- It's not just a good idea, it's the LAW!
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Life is too complicated in the morning.
All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography
Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.
My wife said "If you go hunting or fishing one more time I'm going to leave you". .. I'm sure going to miss her.
Ask me about my vow of silence.
Today's subliminal message is: ( )
I love animals, they more...