Louder Jokes / Recent Jokes

Joe spent the evening tossing down a number of beers at the local bar. It was after eleven o'clock when he finally staggered out into the cold and rainy night in an attempt to find his way home. With the weather as bad as it was, he soon became lost, and found himself wandering through the town Cemetery. He slipped while walking and fell headlong into a freshly dug grave. In his condition, the rain and mud proved too much to handle, and he couldn't manage to climb out.
"Help!" he cried out. "Help! I'm so cold!"
A little while later, another over indulged inebriant left the bar. As luck would have it, the second man was nearby when he heard Joe cry.
"Help, I'm so cold!" Joe continued to call.
The other man staggered in the direction of the voice. It got louder and louder as he neared the cemetery.
"Help! I'm cold! Help! I'm cold!"
The second man followed the voice and approached the grave. As he peered over the side, Joe more...

In a certain suburban neighborhood, there were two brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it often turned out that they had had a hand in it.

Their parents were at their wit's end trying to control them. Hearing about a priest nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to the father that they ask the priest to talk with the boys.

The father replied:' Sure, do that before I kill them!'

The mother went to the priest and made her request. He agreed, and said he wanted to see the younger boy first and alone. So the mother sent him to the priest.

The priest sat the boy down across a huge, impressive desk. For about five minutes they just sat and stared at each other. Finally, the priest pointed his gnarled and boney forefinger at the boy and asked:' Where is God?'

The 8 year old boy looked under the desk, in the corners of the room, all around, but said more...

As you know, it is very important for Santa and his reindeer to
be very quiet when they deliver presents on Christmas Eve so
no one will know they are there. One Christmas Eve Santa Claus
landed on a rooftop and suddenly he heard a very loud, "Snort
sniff honk honk snort! coming from one of his reindeer.
Since he was in the sleigh behind them, he didn't know which one
it was. It happened again, only louder this time. "Snort sniff
honk honk snort!
Dogs in the neighborhood began to bark. "Shhh! Santa hissed.
"Please be quiet!
He went to work lifting the sack of toys out of the sleigh when
he heard it again, only a lot louder this time. "SNORT SNIFF
HONK HONK SNORT! Lights came on all over the neighborhood and
some people even stuck their heads out of their windows.
Santa was horrified. Jumping back into the sleigh, he drove
quickly back to the North Pole. He lined up all the more...

Two jokes on the same theme...
Q: What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?
A: A drummer.
Another researcher arrives in Borneo to gather data for his thesis.
Accompanied by his trusty guide, he too seeks out a very remote locale
for researching the mating behaviour of the giant rat of Sumatra.
Around dusk of the first day, he's sitting by the campfire with his
guide when in the distance, he hears tribal drums. They get louder.
The guide announces, "I don't like the sound of those drums."
The dusk turns evening. The drums get louder. The guide says, "I really
don't like the sound of those drums."
Evening turns to dead of night. The drums get louder and louder, until
it is obvious that the drummers must be quite close. The guide says
again, "I really don't like the sound of those drums."
Suddenly the drums stop, and a voice from the darkness cries out,
"Hey man, he's not our regular more...

The normal way, if the British find they have a language problem with foreigners, is to just talk a bit LOUDER and hope that they understand it.
This guy was having the problems and he was shouting at this poor Italian guy. The Italian guy looked at him and said "What's the matter, are you foreigner or something?"
The British guy said "A foreigner? Good God no, I'm British!"

The normal way, if the British find they have a language problem with foreigners, is to just talk a bit LOUDER and hope that they understand it.
This guy was having the problems and he was shouting at this poor Italian guy. The Italian guy looked at him and said "What's the matter, are you foreigner or something?"
The British guy said "A foreigner? Good God no, I'm British!"

In a certain suburban neighborhood, there were two brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wit's end trying to control them. Hearing about a priest nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to the father that they ask the priest to talk with the boys. The father replied, "Sure, do that before I kill them!"
The mother went to the priest and made her request. He agreed, but said he wanted to see the younger boy first and alone. So the mother sent him to the priest.
The priest sat the boy down across a huge, impressive desk he sat behind. For about five minutes they just sat and stared at each other. Finally, the priest pointed his forefinger at the boy and asked, "Where is God?"
The boy looked under the desk, in the corners of the room, all around, but said nothing.
Again, louder, the priest pointed more...